Blood is Thicker than Water, Love is Thicker than Time
by gracefultree
Summary: Alma Junior is seven years old when her daddy leaves her and her sister and her mommy. She remembers her parents arguing, slamming doors, and a string of bad words. But she also remembers the man with the blue eyes and big smile who had been nice to her. The man who made her daddy smile wider than anything.
1. Prologue

**Blood is Thicker than Water...Love is Thicker than Time**

**Prologue**

This is my first Brokeback Mountain fanfic, though I've been writing in other fandoms for over ten years. I have a lot of ideas I want to explore with this book/movie, so there will likely be lots of different stories coming down the pipeline, though I can't promise how quickly, with a very involved ongoing project down the road at Torchwood.

Enjoy and please review. I always love feedback, especially if it's constructive.

;-)

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Alma Junior is seven years old when her daddy leaves her and her sister and her mommy. She remembers her parents arguing, slamming doors, and a string of bad words from both of her them that her mother would wash her mouth out with soap if Junior ever repeated them. She remembers that it was the first (and only) time in her young life that she'd seen her father cry. But she also remembers the man with the blue eyes and big smile who was nice to her. The man who made her daddy smile wider than anything. She remembers her daddy kissing that man on the mouth the way people did on TV. Her daddy and mommy never kissed like that. It made her sad for a while, until she realizes that her daddy would be happier with the man than with her mommy, who'd never been as nice to him as that man was. She asks her mommy when she could go visit her daddy and that nice man, and her mommy sends her to her room without dinner.

By the time Junior is eleven, she knows that the person her mother hangs up on each year at Christmas and her and her sister's birthdays is her father. She tries to get to the phone the next time he calls, on her sister's birthday, but her mommy takes it from her before she can hear more than a choked up "Junior?" in response to her enthusiastic answering of the phone. "Daddy! It's Junior!" Her mommy hangs up and tells Junior that she's not allowed to answer the phone until she's fourteen. Then she sends Junior to her room.

At thirteen, Junior finds a pile of packages addressed to her and her sister hidden away in the back of her mother's closet that her stepfather kept for the girls for when they turned eighteen, though he never told her mother about doing that. He wasn't a cruel man, and while he disliked her daddy and the life he'd chosen for himself, and felt it was a sin against God, he was a parent, and wanted the girls to know their father cared about them, even if their mother was against it.

She and her mother and her stepfather scream at each other for days. Junior dredges up those long-ago curse words from when her parents split up and throws them at her mother, accusing her of deliberately keeping her away from her father when it was clear that he still loved her and that he tried to stay in touch, tried to send gifts that Alma kept from them, hid from them as if he'd just disappeared off the face of the planet. He wanted to be in her life, Junior yells, and she wants him there. Who is her mother to deny them that relationship? Alma replies in a voice full of venom that she's just trying to protect her daughters from _that queer. _

Junior runs away the next day.


	2. Chapter 1: Conversations by the Fire

**Blood is Thicker than Water... Love is Thicker than Time**

**Chapter 1: Contentment**

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Ennis del Mar, at nineteen, was not known for feeling things. In fact, if someone suggested he did, he would quickly tell them to fuck off. (Politely if they were female, with a punch to the face if not.) The only feeling he had, as far as he knew, was anger, and that wasn't really a feeling in his book. That was just part of being a man. He might have felt things as a kid, like sadness when his parents died, or happiness when he caught that firefly one summer when he was seven, but he didn't have much time for any of that after they died and had to get on with life. He couldn't remember what it was like to be sad, having pushed it away so long ago. But now, now he was feeling _something_. He wasn't quite sure what it was, and he wasn't sure he liked it, or disliked it, for that matter, but it was there, and had been for the last week or so. Mostly in the evenings, when he sat around the fire with Jack Twist.

Jack was quickly becoming a friend. Ennis knew this, though he had no idea how it was happening. He'd never had a friend like Jack before, someone to shoot the shit with, someone to laugh with. Someone who didn't mind that Ennis was mostly silent and who didn't pressure Ennis to talk. Jack seemed to understand him. Jack seemed to be the kind of man who would listen to Ennis without judging him. Ennis thought he rather liked that.

Tonight, three weeks into their summer job tending sheep up on Brokeback Maountain, Ennis took a large swallow of whiskey and decided to say something. He waited for a lull in the conversation. (By lull, he meant when Jack paused for breath between stories, of course.) "Jack?" he asked tentatively.

Jack looked over in surprise, accepting the whiskey Ennis passed. "You say something?" he responded. Ennis had never said his name before, usually just calling him 'bud' or 'you.'

"What's that word for bein' happy with what ya got?"

"Uh, I guess it could be alotta things. Can ya be more specific?"

"Well, we're sittin' here, nice 'n warm from the fire, got us whiskey and smokes. Got a job for the summer and pleasant company when none was expected. What's the word for likin' that?"

Jack smiled. "I think the word you're lookin' for is 'content.' Bein' happy with what ya got, like you said, an' not needin' more."

Ennis grunted. "Yeah, maybe that's it." He stretched his legs out farther towards the fire and lowered his hat over his eyes. Jack watched him for five minutes before getting up and dusting off his jeans. He tapped his booted foot against Ennis' boots, just to tease him. Ennis hated it when Jack did that.

"Well, cowboy, I'm off t' watch them sheep."

Ennis grunted acknowledgement. He spent the rest of the night until the fire burned down staring into it and contemplating the word. Content. Was he content? For the first time in his life, he thought he just might be.


	3. Chapter 2: In the Clearing

**Blood is Thicker than Water... Love is Thicker than Time**

**Chapter 2**

A/N: Slightly longer chapter here. Enjoy and please review if you like it.

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Late May, 1963

Ennis decided to take a leak before leaving the main camp for the top of the mountain, the tent that smelled like cat piss, the sheep, and the coyotes. It was only the third day since he and Jack had switched roles, and he was still getting used to the night riding, which is why he wanted to get up there a little sooner today. He hadn't seen Jack in ten minutes, and figured he'd know where Ennis went when he got back to camp and Ennis' horse was gone. He wandered quietly into the small clearing they'd chosen for their business, freezing at the sight before him.

Jack stood, leaning his back against a tree. His eyes were closed, and his dick was in his hand. His jeans were pooled at his feet. Ennis couldn't help but stare. Sure, he'd seen other men naked before, anyone growing up on a ranch had, but he'd never seen someone wringing one out. He was fascinated. He watched Jack's hand moving back and forth, his fist pumping. Jack's breathing hitched and he spit in his hand before starting up again, faster. He cupped his balls with the other hand.

Ennis felt his own jeans tighten at the image before him. He swore at himself, but the desire to see if Jack knew any tricks he hadn't come up with on his own won out and he backed slowly behind a tree so he could watch without being seen himself. Jack's head lolled back against the tree, his face turning towards Ennis as he came. Ennis palmed his own erection roughly through his jeans, hoping to relieve some of the pressure, but it didn't work. Still swearing silently, he dashed away through the woods as quietly as he could while Jack pulled his pants up and put himself back together.

Ennis barely slept that night, alone on the mountain. All he could think about was Jack. Jack's blue eyes that he could fall into if he let himself. The way Jack had tried to wipe away his blood that one time, a look of concern on his face. Jack's smile. The way Jack made him laugh. Jack's lips, moist from licking them after taking a sip of whiskey. The graceful arch of Jack's neck. Jack's cock, jumping in his hands. The look of bliss on Jack's face.

The shape of his own name on Jack's lips when he came.

Ennis found himself hard again, for the second time that day. _It's all Jack's fault,_ Ennis thought. _Why does he have to be so goddamned beautiful? Shit. Men ain't beautiful, are they? Maybe it's just him? _

Frustrated with himself, he tried to bring an image of his fiancé Alma to mind. She had brown hair. She was shorter than him. Smaller, too, like most every woman he'd ever seen. Skinny arms. No muscle to speak of. But what color were her eyes? What was her mouth shaped like? Was her hair straight, or curly? He'd only kissed her once, when they'd gotten engaged, and he couldn't remember what that felt like.

_Shit, can't even remember what my own damn fiancé looks like,_ he grumbled silently. Closing his eyes, he remembered watching Jack earlier in the day. He began stroking himself the way Jack did, thinking it might feel good. Jack seemed to enjoy it, after all. He imagined Jack's hands on him, Jack's hands replacing his own. He heard his own harsh breathing, wondering if Jack sounded like that, too. Grunting, he came, Jack's name on his lips. _Fuck if that damned man hasn't done something to me. Never felt as good doing it on my own as thinking of him doing it to me. _

The next night, Ennis drank a lot more than usual. Jack joined him, of course. Neither of them wanted to end the conversation. Ennis stumbled around the camp, kicking things and falling down. He didn't want to go back to the sheep. He didn't want to be alone with his thoughts. He didn't want to remember Jack as he touched himself all alone up there. Instead, he pulled a blanket over himself in front of the dying fire, not caring about the cold because his blood was so hot from the alcohol. He wouldn't allow himself to think it was from Jack's nearby presence in the tent. He didn't want to think about Jack's cock, or his ass, or how it would feel to have Jack's strong legs wrapped around his waist. He shivered.

Hours later, Jack's voice broke into his misery. "Ennis? Just quit your hammerin' 'n get in here!" Too cold to argue, Ennis took his blanket and stumbled into the tent. He lay down beside Jack, who'd turned away from him. The relative warmth of the tent had him sleeping in minutes.

Sometime later, Ennis felt Jack take his hand and wrap his arm around him. For warmth, Ennis told himself. Spooning Jack from behind wouldn't be so bad, right? They were just conserving warmth. Men did it all the time. Nothing queer about it.

Then Jack put Ennis' hand on Jack's erect cock.


	4. Chapter 3: Morning After

**Blood is Thicker than Water... Love is Thicker than Time**

**Chapter 3**

A/N: Here's my next installment. Warnings for language and suggestive themes. Oh, and I didn't create these characters. I'm just visiting with them. Enjoy!

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Ennis woke with a pounding headache. He groaned quietly to himself. _Musta been all that whiskey,_ he thought to himself as he ran a hand over his face. He shifted the tent flap to see the mist-filled camp. _Shit, I ain't up with them sheep. Aguirre'd kill me if he knew. _Looking around, he quickly spotted Jack sleeping on his side, facing away from him.

_Jack? What did we do last night? _Ennis realized with alarm that his jeans were open and down around his thighs. Only one thing they could've done. He cursed colorfully to himself, trying not to wake Jack as he pulled up his pants. He scrambled out of the tent to his horse, intending to get up the mountain and to the sheep before he had to face Jack. Behind him, Jack stirred.

_Can't even look at him after what I did, _Ennis thought, mounting Cigar Butt and ignoring Jack's sad expression and calls to wait. _Can't believe I did that! I'm not queer. Not by a long shot. But, damn, that felt good! _

Hours later, Ennis spotted Jack lying in the grass, watching the sheep, calm as can be. His cheeks grew red as his dick began filling. He turned the other way and disappeared into the woods to relieve himself. There was dried blood on his dick.

_Motherfuckin' — _He continued to curse as he found his way back to the stream to wash himself off. _I musta hurt him real bad. I sure didn't mean to. Shit. He must hate me. Good work, Del Mar, ruin the best friendship you've ever had in your whole life. __Only_ _friendship you've had in your whole life. _

_Don't seem like he hates me, though, does it? He's making sure he's around where I can see him. Didn't leave down the mountain. Didn't run __me_ _off the mountain for what I did. _

_Can't deny that it felt good. Felt more'n good, if I'm bein' honest. Never felt anythin' like it. What would I give to do it again? Huh? _

_And it sure looked like he was sayin' my name when he wrang it out the other day. Maybe he's thinkin' he wants more, too. Won't do it if he's queer. Couldn't stand doin' it with a queer 'cause that'd make me queer, too, and I know I ain't that. Couldn't never be that. They get you with tire irons for that kind a stuff. _

Ennis walked up behind Jack, his steps slow with trepidation, unsure what would happen now. He thought about saying his piece while standing, but between the gun in his hand and towering over Jack, who still lay on the ground, he figured it would be better to be at the same level. He sat on his knees, putting the gun aside. A gesture of peace.

"This here's a one shot thing we got going on," Ennis finally blurted out. _That's not what I was going to say! _he growled at himself. _Apologize for hurting him, already! That's the least you can do. _

"It's nobody's business but ours," Jack mumbled. He didn't look at Ennis. He sounded sad. Ennis wondered what he was thinking.

"You know I ain't queer," Ennis persisted, his mouth moving before his mind told it what to say. _Might not be queer, but fucked you last night, that's for damn sure. Probably just that I'm nineteen and alone with you and the sheep, and better to fuck you than one a them. Still, can't get it out a my head all day. Keep rememberin' , thinkin' on it. Can't keep but wantin' more. _

Predictably, Jack answered immediately. "Me neither." If anything, he sounded even more sad than before. Ennis sighed in relief. Jack wasn't queer, which meant it was OK to want to do it again with him. That meant it was OK to do it again, too. Ennis was glad as he digested this new bit of information. They sat in silence for a long time, neither willing to break it.

"I didn't, uh, you know, I didn't hurt you too bad, did I?" Ennis asked hesitantly, slightly afraid of the answer. He'd seen Jack walking funny earlier.

"You care about that?" Jack wondered, still not looking at him. He had no idea what to make of their situation, and Ennis was sending more mixed signals than a five year old deciding on an ice cream flavor.

"Shit, boy. 'Course I care," Ennis exclaimed. "Never had a best friend before. Hell, barely had a friend. Wouldn't want to drive you away on account a some drunken mistake."

"So it was a mistake?" Jack demanded, angry.

"No! I mean, yeah. I mean, I don't know what I mean. What I do mean is that I don't want to hurt you none. Not like that…" Ennis trailed off, embarrassed that he was babbling. He never babbled. Trust Jack fuckin' Twist to make him babble when he'd never done it in his life. Never did a lot of things in his life before he met Jack Twist. "I just — I'm real sorry for hurtin' you."

"Ennis…" Jack paused and looked over, meeting Ennis' eyes for the first time since the night before in the tent. "It's fine. I'm fine." He paused again, clearly debating his next words. "You think we can still be friends, we do it again?"

"Reckon so," Ennis answered, his insides doing back flips in excitement that Jack wanted to do it again. "I won't hurt you like that no more. Promise you that." _I'll find a way to make it easier on you, _Ennis promised silently. _I'll make it as good for you as it is for me. _

Jack sighed. "You ever done it with a girl? With Alma?"

"Hell, no. I kissed Alma once, but that's it. She's a good girl, wants to wait, and me, I'm too busy workin' to find fast girls who're willin'. My weddin' night'll be soon enough for that."

"I ain't done it with a girl neither. Weren't none near my daddy's place."

"What about when you was down rodeoin'?"

"Well, there's loose women there, that's for sure, friend, but none a them were interested in me. I didn't win near often enough for them to take notice."

"That's a good thing for me, then, ain't it?"

"Yeah? How you reckon that?"

"We both, um —" Ennis paused, cleared his throat. "Well, if neither of us've done it before, then, well, we can practice so's we can do it right by our girls when the time comes. You know, practice with each other first."

"Practice, like, practice for our weddin' nights?"

"Yeah. You wanna?" Ennis tried to keep his voice level and hide his enthusiasm for his idea. He still couldn't believe he would ask that, but finding out that Jack was a virgin, too, made him feel more bold. Since neither of them had experience, he didn't have to feel as awkward about it.

_Does doin' it with a guy count? Are we not virgins no more? _he wondered suddenly. _Or am I one, 'cause he hasn't fucked me, but he isn't 'cause I fucked him? But girls can't fuck the way guys can, right? They couldn't fuck a guy like I fucked him, and doin' it with a girl the first time makes you not a virgin, so that means… doin' it with Jack like we did yesterday means… Shit. Neither a us're virgins no more! _

Jack considered Ennis' proposal. He thought about the night before and the combination of pain and pleasure he experienced at the hands of Ennis Del Mar. He thought about his desire to kiss him and know what that felt like. He thought about all the fantasies he'd been having about Ennis doing all kinds of things to him. Things he didn't even know what they were, but knew would be perfect if Ennis did them. He thought about the rare glimpses of Ennis' skin he'd gotten over the past few weeks and how he really wanted to touch that skin, kiss it, taste it. Hell, he knew he was already half in love with his friend, even before last night, and would take any opportunity to touch him again. He made his decision.

"I tell you what, friend. You come into my tent tonight, we'll practice for your weddin' night. I don't get the feelin' we'll be doin' it the other way anytime soon and that's just fine by me."

Ennis simply nodded and stood. "I'll be thinkin' on it." As he walked away, he felt a tension leave his body. Jack wanted to do it again. Jack wouldn't pressure him to let Jack fuck him. Jack liked his "wedding night" idea. This was good, wasn't it? They'd both get to practice, he'd know what he was supposed to do when he married Alma, and, best of all, he'd experience that intense pleasure again. Life seemed simple and good in that moment.

Dinner was a silent affair, both men lost in their own thoughts. Jack had fried up some of the leftover elk with the potatoes, making a better meal than usual. They avoided beans and shared a can of peaches. They had a few sips of whiskey each, but by unspoken agreement, neither wanted to be drunk that night, not if they were going to do what they each hoped they were going to do. Jack retired to the tent first, taking off his shirt in anticipation before lying down. He worried at a hangnail while he waited.

It took Ennis another hour of staring at the fire to build up the courage to join Jack in the tent. He knew he wanted to go in there and do what they were going to do, but he was afraid. Afraid that doing it with another guy, even if neither of them was queer, would look like they were queer to others. But there were no others on the mountain, no one to know, no one to speculate. He was afraid of the tire irons that would find them if word got out. He couldn't let the tire irons get to Jack. Not Jack. Not this wonderful, brave, funny, beautiful man who was introducing Ennis to more than he knew. Friendship, confidence in himself, feeling liked for who he was, all those were new things for Ennis, and as uncomfortable as they were, they were also a balm on a psyche that had been battered far too often for someone who was only nineteen.

The idea of having a wedding night with Jack made his blood sing and his erection painfully hard. The idea of _calling _it a wedding night with Jack was exciting. Thrilling, with just a bit of danger. _If I go through with this, _Ennis thought, _ain't no other man gonna touch me, no way, no how. Hell, we do this, it could become a forever thing, and that scares the shit outta me. Can't let Alma down, gave her my word, but fuckin' a, don't want nothin' to do with her right now. _He glanced over at the tent, at the flap Jack left open, at Jack's bare chest glowing in the firelight.

_Hell, we've known each other longer'n some people do before they get married, haven't we? We know we can live together. We can work together. We like each other, even if we piss each other off all the time. We did it once and liked it. I'm pretty sure he liked it, even though I hurt him. He wouldn't want more if he didn't. And we're gonna have a weddin' night, just like momma and daddy had. Haven't made no promises, not sure I'd be able to keep 'em even if we did. Gotta life down off the mountain waitin' for me. _

He paused, tossing another small stick into the fire. _Gotta man right over there waitin' for me, too. Can't keep him waitin' too much longer or he'll think I'm not coming. Can't let that happen, no sir. It's time for my weddin' night. _

Ennis pushed off his knees and stood, turning towards the tent and his new life. _If I'm goin' to Hell for this, thank you God I got Jack Twist right here with me. _


	5. Chapter 4: Second Night

**Blood is Thicker than Water... Love is Thicker than Time**

**Chapter 4**

A/N: Updated to include more of the night...

Enjoy!

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_Late May, 1963, continued..._

Jack Twist waited as patiently as he could, which wasn't particularly patiently at all. Ever since his conversation with Ennis that afternoon, he'd been eagerly anticipating this very moment. Ennis wanted to have sex again, and had said that it would be a "practice wedding night." To Jack, who knew he liked the look of a man, but had no actual experience beyond the harsh fucking of the night before, this was an opportunity he couldn't miss. When would he ever have the chance to be with another man again? Especially one as good looking as Ennis with his blond curls and shy smile?

Last night hadn't been planned. Both of them drank a lot of whiskey, got good and drunk. Even so, he knew Ennis wasn't as drunk as he pretended to be. Jack felt that the alcohol would be the perfect excuse to try something. Who hadn't had a drunken fumble with a buddy, after all?

Jack, for one. And Ennis, apparently. Ennis, who practically _winked_ when he told Jack he'd never had the opportunity to sin. It was that almost wink that had decided Jack. Ennis was flirting with him, even if he didn't quite realize that's what he was doing.

Jack sighed and decided to take off his boots. That would make getting out of his jeans easier. He pulled off his socks while he was at it.

_It seemed important to Ennis that we're both virgins, _Jack thought as he lay back down to wait. _And even more important that we weren't queer. I hated lying to him, but I know if I said that I thought I might be, even though I'm not sure, he wouldn't a considered doin' anything ever again with me. Like it's OK to do it if we're not queer, or somethin'. I don't understand it. But, Hell, I don't understand myself, neither. Gettin' a hard on thinkin' about a buddy? Bein' happy he fucked me up the ass? That's not normal. _

_He said he wants tonight to be like a weddin' night. Does that mean he wants to do things you'd do with a woman, like kiss them? Does he want to kiss me? Or touch me? Or have me touch him? He wouldn't let me kiss him last night. But if we're havin' a weddin' night, we're gonna have to kiss. _

_And there's only one way to have sex on a weddin' night, and that's face-to-face. And doin' it that way means we'll have to kiss, right? Shit, why can't I just admit that I want to kiss him? _

_I want to kiss him. All right, I said it. I want to kiss him, and I want him to hold me in his arms. I want to see him naked, and I want him to see me. Damn, I sound like a woman. But that's what I want, isn't it? I want to know what that's like. And while I'm at it, I want him to touch me. I want him to put his hands on me and jerk me off. And I want him to lick me. Shit, where did that come from? Lick me where? _

_Anywhere he damn-well pleases to! _

Jack sat up and glanced out past the tent flaps to where Ennis still sat by the fire. He looked deep in thought and not likely to move anytime soon.

_At least he's not leavin', _Jack thought. He decided to take off his shirt and undershirt, to make things easier later. It was still early, so it wasn't cold yet.

_Hell, does he even know what to do on a weddin' night? Here I am thinkin' he knows what's gonna happen, but maybe he's just as in the dark as me. Why would he need to practice if he knew what to do, right? So maybe he's sittin' out there tryin' to figure out what to do. I guess we'll have to learn together. _

_Maybe the only thing he knows is how to fuck like we did last night 'cause he's seen animals doin' it like that. Maybe he doesn't know people do it face-to-face? But he's gotta know that! How can a person not know that? Oh, but he said his parents died when he was thirteen, so he probably never caught them doin' it when he was old enough to remember. And he said he kissed that Alma girl once, but the way he said it, didn't make it sound like he liked it none. But if she's a good girl, like he says, she wouldn't know how to kiss, neither, so there they were, neither knowin' what to do, just doin' it 'cause that's what you're supposed to do when you get engaged. But who am I to talk, anyway. I ain't never kissed no one.  
_

_Wonder why they got engaged? It's not 'cause she's pregnant, that's for damn sure. What does he think a her? Does he like her? Does he think a her when he's jerkin' off? Shit, wish he'd be thinkin' a me, like I think a him. _

_Darn it, I'm gettin' hard just thinkin' a thinkin' 'bout him. _

Before Jack could decide if this was a good thing or not, he heard Ennis' tentative footsteps. He sat up as Ennis sat down inside the tent, holding his hat in front of him like a shield. Jack put a hand on Ennis' forearm.

_He's shakin' like a leaf! _Jack thought. _He clearly has no idea what he's doin' here. Gotta put him a ease. _

Jack gently took the hat from Ennis' hands and placed it aside. He reached over and touched Ennis' cheek. Ennis colored and looked away, tilting his head slightly. Jack kept up the contact and leaned forward, intending to kiss Ennis. Time seemed to freeze as they shifted awkwardly so that their lips met in a gentle kiss. The sound of their lips separating with that little gasp of air seemed to bring Ennis back into focus.

"Sorry," he whispered, so low that Jack had to struggle to hear it.

"It's alright," Jack replied in a voice just as soft. "It's alright." Though I have no idea what you're apologizin' for. Just come a little closer so we can touch each other, OK, cowboy?

Jack lay down, bringing Ennis with him. He kissed the top of Ennis' head as he stroked Ennis' hair. Ennis sighed and kissed Jack's chest. He ran his hand over Jack's face and chest, a preliminary exploration, before taking hold of Jack's side and indicating he wanted them to roll over. Once on his back, Ennis seemed to hesitate again, so Jack leaned over him and kissed him firmly on the mouth. Ennis responded, enjoying the contact. Soon they were kissing frantically, Ennis' hands roaming over Jack's back while Jack struggled to unbutton Ennis' shirt. Ennis grabbed hold of Jack's ass and squeezed him through the denim of his jeans. Jack kissed and licked what he could reach of Ennis' neck and chest.

They rolled over again so that Jack was on his back. Ennis tore off his shirt and began kissing along Jack's neck and down his chest, imitating what Jack had just done. He found Jack's nipples and kissed them, his tongue darting out to explore. Jack moaned appreciatively and stroked Ennis' arms and back. Ennis shifted so that one of his legs was between Jack's. Both of them were hard. Ennis cupped Jack's groin, squeezing gently.

"You wanna see?" Jack whispered. Ennis nodded, the slightest movement of his head. Jack grinned and began unbuckling his belt. Once Jack was naked, Ennis stared, his mouth falling open. "You can touch it," Jack encouraged.

Ennis swallowed and hesitantly ran his fingers over Jack's penis. Jack gasped at the contact. Ennis paused, but then gripped him more firmly, wrapping his whole hand around it and stroking back and forth a few times. After a moment he let go and undid his own belt and jeans to shimmy out of them. He knelt there, his erection brushing against Jack's as he looked at them both.

"We're different," Ennis said, and his voice hitched in wonder. "Didn't think you could be that different." He ran the tips of his fingers along Jack's length, making Jack shiver in pleasure. "I've seen guys from a distance, other ranch hands, my brother, that sort a thing, and they all look like me, sorta. None like you."

"It's called circumcision," Jack replied, answering the question Ennis didn't ask. "It don't hurt, or nothin'. Happened when I was a baby, so didn't know no different until one day my daddy showed me his. It's like yours, whole."

"Well, I think yours looks better'n mine. All proud-like. It's sayin' 'here I am,' you know? I mean, mine don't look like that til close to the end."

"You really think that?"

"I said it, didn't I?" Ennis looked away for a moment, then looked back. He bent to kiss Jack's shoulder.

"I guess you did," Jack murmured. "They did it to me when I was in the hospital bein' born. Said that I hurt my momma comin' out, so she couldn't have no more kids, so we was in the hospital for a couple a days, more like a week, I think, and they just did it. Said it was better for me that way. Cleaner or healthier or some shit."

"They didn't ask your daddy's permission?"

"If they did, he didn't know what they meant. When he first saw me, really looked, I was three. He beat the shit outta me. I had no idea why, then. Didn't find out until a year or so later. I musta been four or somthin', and I couldn't get to the toilet in time. Well, Daddy, he's a mean old bastard, and he went on and whipped it out, pissed all over me to teach me a lesson."

"Damn!" Ennis whispered. He leaned over and kissed Jack again, long and deep. "My daddy was a bastard, too, hit me with the belt a couple a times, but he never did nothin' like that. Shit."

"Let's not talk 'bout our daddies no more tonight, 'kay?"

Ennis nodded his agreement and bent for yet another kiss. Damn, he's a good kisser, Jack thought as he opened his mouth so Ennis could explore it with his tongue.

Jack grabbed the back of Ennis' head and pulled him closer, threading his fingers through Ennis' blond curls. They kissed for a long time as their hands explored each other's bodies. They fell into a rhythm stroking each other's erections, gasping and moaning at the contact.

"Shit," Jack exclaimed when Ennis spurted into his hand. Ennis grunted and sped up his motions, bringing Jack over the edge a moment later. "Shit," Jack repeated, though this time it was more of a sigh. "Damn, that was good!"

Ennis just smiled and kissed him again. They dozed briefly, Ennis' head resting on Jack's sweaty chest.

"So, ya ever had a blow job?" Ennis asked seriously, lifting his head away from Jack. This was the first thing either of them had said in at least an hour.

"Um, no. Can't say as I have," Jack answered, surprised that Ennis would ask such a question so boldly. He didn't expect the man who could barely kiss him when he first got in the tent saying anything like this. Not that Jack was going to complain, no, sir!

"Well, I heard tell how to give one, so, if you want, I can give it a try."

"How'n the hell'd you hear that?"

"Some a the other ranch hands was comparin' their girls' techniques. I listened in, so's I might be able to tell Alma what to do when the time came. I know her mama wouldn't a told her how to do that. Sounded like it'd feel good, so I just remembered what they said to do." Ennis paused. "Thought it might be good for a weddin' night, get you all relaxed and shit before we got to the main event."

"Well, if you wanna give me a blow job, friend, be my guest," Jack said, unable to keep the excitement from his voice. Ennis smiled. Jack smiled back, realizing that they'd both been smiling a lot that night. Much more than he could ever remember smiling in a single day in his entire life. Hell, more than in a week, and Jack smiled a lot.

"Now, I ain't never done this, so I might not do it too good…"

"You sure's hell kissin' me real good, and you said you hardly did that before neither, so I think you're gonna do fine at this," Jack encouraged. "You gonna tell me what you're doin'?"

Ennis smirked. "When you do me, I'll tell you what to do. This here's about you. Gotta make it a good weddin' night, gotta do right by you."

"You already have, Cowboy," Jack said softly. "You done good already. And it's just practice, remember? We don't gotta do it all tonight, if we don't want. We can practice more tomorrow."

"Um, yeah, we can, but we got time tonight. Might as well get as much practicin' in as possible, get it as right as we can." Ennis blushed. "'Cause the more we practice, the better we're gonna do it, right? I wanna make sure everythin's perfect. I want you to feel real good, you hear?"

Their eyes met and Jack felt overwhelmed at the passion and desire he saw in Ennis' eyes. He couldn't help but roll them over again and swoop down for more kisses.

Soon enough Ennis took control again, pressing Jack down on his back as he kissed and licked his way down Jack's chest and navel. He tugged gently on Jack's pubic hair. Jack arched his hips off the bedroll, wanting more, but Ennis held him down.

"Don't move," Ennis whispered. He lowered his head and tasted Jack's cock, sucking on the tip. Jack jerked again, thrusting into Ennis' mouth, pressing against the back of his throat. Ennis coughed, pulling away. His teeth grazed the sensitive skin and Jack yelped.

"What you doin', boy?" he demanded angrily.

"Shut your mouth and stay still," Ennis ordered. "You gotta stay still or you'll choke me."

"Shit, don't want that."

Ennis moved up to kiss his lips. "I won't hurt you, OK? You trust me?" Silently, Jack nodded, keeping his eyes locked on Ennis'. "Good." Ennis returned to Jack's erection, stroking it, watching from up close how it responded to his touch for a moment before running his tongue along the whole length. Jack moaned.

"Maybe — maybe you gotta hold me down," Jack suggested. "I can't keep from movin' when you do that."

Ennis smiled to himself and licked Jack again, stroking with his hand as he did it. He took the tip in his mouth, slowly licking and sucking as he pulled more in. Jack shuddered, Ennis' hands on his hips the only thing keeping him from thrusting powerfully again. They settled into a rhythm as Ennis explored this new intimacy and soon Jack was shooting into Ennis' mouth.

Ennis recognized the signs of Jack's balls drawing up in his hand from when he jerked himself off and expected the orgasm. What he didn't expect was how much there was. He swallowed hastily, enjoying the flavor more than he thought he should, but wasn't able to manage it all. When he raised his head to meet Jack's eyes, a small trickle of cum escaped his mouth and dribbled down his chin. Before he could wipe it away, Jack surged into a sitting position to lick it away and kiss Ennis with a renewed fierceness, murmuring little nonsense words and encouragements.

"So good," Jack mumbled. He pulled Ennis down to the bedroll and rolled on top of him, kissing him the whole time. "Never felt that good before," he continued, finding Ennis' erection with his free hand. "Now c'mere so I can do that to you!"

Ennis happily laid back, surrendering himself to Jack.


	6. Chapter 5: Coming Down the Mountain

**Blood is Thicker than Water... Love is Thicker than Time**

**Chapter 5: Coming down from the mountain**

A/N: I'm working on a revise of the last chapter. I'll tell you when it's up. Meanwhile, enjoy this next chapter.

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Jack sat staring into the cooking fire, his mind far away. Far away, on top of the mountain, with the sheep, in a pup tent that smelled like cat piss, curled around Ennis' still sleeping form. He hoped Ennis was still sleeping, so that he wouldn't wake to the snow that had blanketed the base camp and the mountain that morning, though it was mostly melted by now. It was colder up the mountain, though, so Jack knew Ennis'd see it. He hoped Ennis would come down soon. This was the first morning they'd spent apart in two weeks, last night the first night they'd spent apart in those same two weeks, and of course it snowed, signaling the beginning of the end of the summer and their jobs. Still, it was only the middle of August, and there was a month more up there, if not five or six weeks, and Jack was content. The snow would melt quickly today, and the weather looked to be fine.

Jack sighed and arranged another log on the fire. He set about making coffee, knowing Ennis would want a cup first thing, and that having it ready and hot would make the man smile. Just thinking about Ennis made _Jack_ smile. He thought of Ennis' shy smile, his blond curls, the way he seemed to transform into another person when they were having sex. Gone was the shy, gruff cowboy who barely said three words. Here was the bold, enthusiastic lover who eagerly offered suggestions and new ideas about what might be pleasurable.

Something had changed two weeks ago, the night that marked two months of sleeping together. Suddenly, Ennis became more affectionate. He would kiss Jack or run his fingers through Jack's hair or over his shoulders for no other reason than to do it, whereas before, a kiss or caress meant sex. Not that they were having less sex than before, oh no. If anything, they were having more. Two and three times a day became four or five. Jack thanked God they were both so young that they could keep up the pace. And they'd started having sex face-to-face, something Ennis had refused after the first "wedding night." Ennis would do anything facing Jack, up until the final moments when he would roll Jack over to finish taking him from behind. But now Ennis stopped doing it that way. And Jack loved it. He loved being able to kiss Ennis as he came. He loved being able to see that look of wild abandon on Ennis' face. He loved the look of desire and passion and lust that would overtake Ennis when the end was in sight. He loved Ennis.

Jack knew he was in love with Ennis, had admitted it to himself. He'd even taken it a step farther and admitted to himself that he was queer. But he could never tell Ennis. That would spook him, and a spooked Ennis was worse than a spooked mama bear protecting her cubs. Ennis didn't want to think about feelings. He didn't want to talk about what they were doing, unless they were actually doing it at the time. He didn't want to deal with the fact that what they were doing made them queer. Or half-queer, or something. Jack spit into the fire. If Ennis needed to think of himself as queer only for Jack, that was fine with him, as long as they kept sleeping together. He'd wear Ennis down about the rest.

Jack knew what he wanted. He wanted Ennis. He wanted to keep being with Ennis after they left Brokeback. He knew it would be difficult. Probably _really_ difficult. And he had no illusions about the danger. If they ranched up together, they would be targets, and they could get hurt. That scared Jack, but he felt that being with Ennis for whatever time they had was worth the risk. Wasn't he happier now than he'd ever been in his entire life? It was as if he'd lived a dull gray life up until now, and Ennis brought with him the sun and moon and all the colors.

Was Jack willing to go against his daddy to be with Ennis, if his daddy didn't approve of them being together, which Jack knew was the case? Would he risk being kicked to the curb and disowned? Would he be willing to never see his mama again? His mama, who would take in Ennis and love him like a second son just because he made Jack happy? Would he risk being beaten? Killed? Would he risk _Ennis_ being hurt or killed?

Somehow the thought of Ennis being hurt scared him more than the thought of himself being killed. He didn't want that for Ennis. Not that he wanted to be hurt, himself, but he'd gladly take the danger and pain to spare Ennis. His Ennis, who'd already lost both his parents, who already had a strained relationship with his siblings, his only living relatives. No, he was scared, but he'd protect Ennis with his last breath, if he had to.

The answer was yes. Yes, yes, he'd risk it all. Being with Ennis was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he was going to hold on to that happiness if it was the last thing he was going to do.

Besides, they had another month together before they had to make any decisions. Ennis wasn't ready yet to agree to stay with Jack right now, but in a month? Who knows what could happen in a month? The new, tender Ennis might win out. He might learn to need Jack as much as Jack needed him. Maybe by then, Ennis would be willing to take a chance on building a life with Jack.

The jingle of harness and clomp of a horse's feet on the trail alerted him to Ennis' arrival. He smiled and poured two cups of coffee, rising to his feet and turning towards the sound. The smile froze on his face. _Aguirre. _

"Mornin', sir, coffee?" Jack asked, offering one of the cups. Aguirre ignored him, looking around the camp with disdain.

"Where's Del Mar?" Aguirre barked, still not looking at Jack. He didn't dismount.

"Uh, he's still up with the sheep," Jack answered. "Hasn't been down for breakfast yet."

Aguirre grunted. "Big storm coming. Bring the woollies down today. Don't want a repeat of last year's lightning storm losses."

"You sure about that?" Jack asked, a feeling of panic rising in his throat. "It's a month early."

"I want 'em down by the afternoon. Can't count in the dark." Aguirre finally looked at Jack, his expression guarded. "Your people called, said your uncle made it through."

"That's good," Jack replied. "Thanks for telling me."

Aguirre grunted again and turned his horse. He spat to the side as he rode off. Jack wondered if that meant anything, but was soon overwhelmed by worry for Ennis and their relationship to pay it any mind.

By the time Ennis arrived, Jack had packed most of the camp. He stood, his back to Ennis, taking apart the tent. His stomach twisted with dread, and the coffee he'd drunk earlier felt like it was burning a hole in his stomach.

"Aguirre came by," he said, responding to Ennis' question about what was going on. "Said to bring them down." Ennis grunted. "There's breakfast and coffee by the fire," Jack offered, finally turning around to look at Ennis. His breath caught in his throat. Ennis looked like he did at the beginning of the summer, closed, distant and lonely. He didn't respond to Jack, but walked over to the fire and began eating the food Jack left out for him.

For the next few minutes, the only sounds in camp were Ennis' fork scraping on the plate and the canvas of the tent creaking as Jack folded it. Silently, Ennis took his dishes to the river and washed them. He returned and together they packed the rest of camp.

Jack was tightening the girth on his horse when he realized Ennis wasn't with him. Looking around, he saw him sitting in a field of grass and wildflowers. Two nights ago they'd made love in that field, Jack mused, and now Ennis looked like nothing had ever happened. He was brooding, something Jack had come to recognize over the months of their association. Not much could break Ennis from these dark thoughts, only a well-timed joke or well-placed kiss on the side of his neck that always made Ennis shiver. Watching Ennis staring into the middle distance, Jack knew that a kiss was out of the question. A joke it would have to be. He gathered his rope and walked towards his lover.

***BBM***

Ennis felt numb. He didn't see the flowers or grass he sat on. He didn't smell the mountain sage or pine. He didn't feel the crisp breeze or warm sun. He didn't hear Jack approaching.

_I gotta leave him, _he thought, the words swirling in his head, making him dizzy. _There's nothing else I can do. They're gonna make me leave him. But I can't leave him. I can't let him go. I have to let him go. I can't live with him and stay alive. They'll kill us. They'll kill him. I can't live with him. I can't live __without_ _him. I gotta leave him. I can't stay. I can't go. I can't do anything. _

_Shit! What do I do, Lord? It's wrong to love a man, but, by all that's holy, I think I love him. Is that even possible? Can two men love each other? I know what Jack would say. He'd say that of course two men can love each other. How many times has he whispered it to me the last few weeks when he thinks I'm sleeping? I ain't stupid. I know what I heard. _

_Fuck, that's why it's been so good between us lately. I can't hear that and treat him like someone I fuck just for fun. He says something like that, it's more than just fun, whether I want it to be or not. _

_But he don't get it, does he? He don't see the danger of two guys together. He's too soft, always thinkin' the best of people. Sure, he hates his daddy, never able to do good enough by him, but who can do good by their daddy? Don't think I've ever heard of him hating anyone else, and he's spent most of the summer talking my ear off about everyone he knows. _

_I got an obligation to Alma. I gotta marry her. I promised her, and a man's only as good as his word. Hell, the wedding's paid for already, by her folks. I can't back out now. And I love her. I know I do. I just wish I could remember what she looks like. _

_She don't got blue eyes, that's for sure. Only Jack can have eyes that blue. Only Jack can smile like that. And only Jack can kiss like that. Damn. How'm I supposed to marry her when all I can think of is him? _

_Damn you, Jack Twist. You've gone and twisted me up real good. You and your damned smile. I'd do just about anything to see you smile. But you haven't been smiling all day. And I can't do anything right, can I? I gotta do what Aguirre says and bring them sheep down, when all I want is to stay here with you. _

_Doesn't matter none what I want, does it? In life you just gotta stand what you can't fix, and I can't fix this. No, I gotta marry her. Marry her and break his heart. If men can get broken hearts. _

_Shit. If men can love each other, I bet they can get broken hearts. And it sure seems like he loves me. _

_But I ain't queer, and neither is he. He told me that himself. Only queer men love men, so how can he love me if he's not queer? Maybe he just says it to make me feel good, like he's thinking hearing that will make me happy. And damned if it doesn't. But I ain't queer. I ain't queer and I'm gonna marry Alma and fulfill my obligation. I'll have some kids with her, then no one'll be able to call me queer, not ever. _

_No tire irons're gonna get me, that's for sure. And none'll get him, neither, if we leave each other. He'll be safe if he's not with me. No one'll suspect anything. He can get a wife, too. We could be neighbors, best friends. No one'd need to knew what we got up to on the mountain, long as it don't happen again. Like he said, "It's nobody's business but ours." _


	7. Chapter 6: Ennis & Alma

**Blood is Thicker than Water ... Love is Thicker than Time**

**Chapter 5**

A/N: I didn't create Jack, Ennis or Alma. I'm just writing about them. Enjoy!

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Ennis stood outside his bedroom door, shaking. He was terrified of what awaited him on the other side of the door. Of _who_ waited for him. His wife, Alma Beers. No, she was Alma Del Mar as of eight hours ago. It was his wedding night, and he had no idea what he was supposed to do. His _real_ wedding night, and there was no Jack Twist to help him through. No best friend to guide him with kisses and jokes and little touches. No lust-filled looks or gentle directions. No one to tell him, "it's alright" over and over again. Just him and Alma. Alma, who was even more a virgin than he had been on the mountain. Alma, who would expect Ennis to take charge, to know what to do, to be the man. That's how it had started with Jack, after all, hadn't it? Practice having sex so he could face tonight without fear. Too bad all it ended up doing was create even more fear.

Ennis hadn't seen or heard from Jack since they said goodbye outside Aguirre's trailer, the purple bruise on Jack's cheek evidence of Ennis' anger and uncertainty and fear. That was three months ago. Three months, and he dreamed of Jack every single night. Dreamed of Jack and woke hard. Woke hard and wrang it out, thinking of Jack, remembering the feel of Jack's hands on his skin, his lips against his and his tongue everywhere imaginable. The smell of sweat and sheep, whiskey and tobacco, sage and spunk. The sound of his voice as he moaned. The taste of his cum. But Jack wasn't here, and he'd have to find a way to stop the dreams, because he couldn't wring it out every morning in bed with his wife, thinking of a man. Maybe he could do it in the shower, like he used to do as a kid when he didn't want KE to know he was doing it?

He felt his erection growing, just thinking about Jack. He'd dreamed of Jack again that morning, and unlike the other dreams, Jack was fucking _him_ this time, something they'd never actually done on the mountain. Sure, Jack had licked him there, and once or twice he'd fingered him during a blow job, but he'd never fucked him. Ennis just wasn't comfortable with that. He wanted to be comfortable enough to try it, wanted to know what it was all about and experience the pleasure Jack always got, but he couldn't let it happen. He was too much of a man to let anyone dominate him like that, even his beautiful Jack.

This morning he woke to wet sheets and started crying for what he'd lost. Ennis Del Mar, who hadn't cried when his parents died, who hadn't cried when he broke his arm when a horse threw him, who hadn't cried since the night he saw Old Earl dead in an irrigation ditch. He got a beating from his daddy for that and promised he'd never cry again in his life. So when he woke up the morning of his wedding, crying over a man, a man who might very well hate him for leaving things the way he had between them, he knew he had to do something.

There was only one thing _to_ do. He called the Twist ranch in Lightning Flat, but Jack wasn't there. The fantasy of Jack coming to take him away from the mess he found himself in with Alma died. The one and only dream Ennis could ever remember having in his entire life, and it was broken before it was even fully-formed. Ennis' choices narrowed even farther. There wasn't a choice now. He could no longer escape his fate. Ennis would marry Alma as he'd promised, and do right by her. At least he could do right by her, if he couldn't do anything about this thing with Jack.

_Shit, I'm in trouble here, _he thought desperately as he stood in front of the door, rubbing at an erection he didn't want because of who inspired it. _Never thought I'd miss his optimism so much. He knew so much, __knows_ _so much. He helped me, that second night. He helped me move, helped me do good by him. Took away my fears. Made me feel confident about what I was doing, even though he had less of an idea than me. At least I'd heard how to give a blow job. But we figured it out together, and it was so wonderful, being in him like that, looking in his eyes, kissing him, knowing I was the one making him feel that good. Knowing I was the only one who'd ever touched him like that. _

_We missed out on a lot, when I wouldn't let us do it again like that for so long. If I ever see him again I won't make that mistake again — No, can't think like that. If I ever see him again, I'll be married, and no matter what, I can't break my wedding vows. Not even for him. Not even for the man who haunts my dreams every night. _

_How could I have married Alma when I dream about him? How can I go into that room to Alma when I'm thinking on Jack? When I'm wanting Jack? When my dick's hard for him instead of her? _

_We were together for two and a half months from when we first fucked until we had to leave Brokeback. 74 days. We practiced for my wedding night every day. We had sex in more ways than either of us thought possible. I know how to make him hard with just a look. I know how to make him come with just a kiss. _

_Was it really practicing for __this__, though? I'm not sure anymore. _

_But Alma, she don't got nothing to get hard. Can she even come the way me and Jack can? How do I tell if she does? Shit, he'd know, wouldn't he? Not that he has any experience with girls, but I have a feeling he'd know anyway. He talks to everyone. I'm sure he's heard about how to tell. _

_Do I just stick it in like I did with Jack that first night? Probably not. I hurt him, and he's not delicate the way she is. It'd hurt her a lot more than him. So I shouldn't do it like that. Maybe I need to stretch her, like I learned to do with him? He liked it better when I did it that way, even when we were going at it fast and rough. He needed to be stretched. 'Course, he liked it slow and gentle, too. Damn, that man had an appetite for it. Made me want it, just looking at him sometimes, thinking on him thinking on it. _

_Does Alma want it? Will she like it? Will I? Can't be that different, really. Eventually, it ends the same. My dick in her body, like my dick was in his. I just gotta remember I can't use all my strength with her. Can't hurt her, thinking she's him and able to take it. Gotta be extra careful. _

_Damn, do all guys worry about this on their wedding nights? What did KE say this afternoon? "Make sure she's wet." What the fuck does that mean? Some good you are, brother. Not a lotta advise, no sir. Was Jack ever wet? He sweated, sure. And he came, that was wet, but I don't think that's what KE meant. With me and Jack, it was better when we had something to make things slide, like the Vaseline. Maybe KE means girls need that, too? I don't have any. Shit. Or does he mean that girls get wet naturally and I gotta figure out how to make that happen? 'Cause it's a different hole? I'd probably need it if I was taking her from behind. But I can't do that. Reminds me of him too much. _

_Think, Del Mar. What's gonna be the same? She's got nipples. She's got skin and a mouth and a tongue. I know what to do with all that. I've kissed her before, but always closed kisses. And her mouth's so small. Will my tongue really fit in there? My dick probably won't. Shit. I like that. Don't want to give that up. But I can't expect too much. Like I told him that day, I bet her momma didn't teach her none a that about blow jobs. Will she even do it? Jack'd whoop for joy if I asked him. He'd be on his knees in an instant. Can't expect that of her. _

_Her arms're so small and skinny. No way she can hold me the way he can. I'll just have to hold her. I'm sure she's got hair down there. But I probably can't pull on it, like I can't pull her regular hair. And she don't got a dick, so no reason my mouth needs to go down there. Just my hands and dick. I can handle that. I sure got good using my dick. Jack kept telling me I got better 'n better, didn't he? Damn, but he liked it. He even liked just looking at it. Will she? I can't imagine that. _

"_Aim and shoot." Isn't that what I heard some of the other ranch hands saying? Do that enough and I'll get her pregnant, then won't have to do it at all until the kid's stopped breast-feeding. That's like a whole year after being born, isn't it? Shit, Jack would know, wouldn't he? _

_Fuck, Jack, why ain't you here? Why'd I let you go? _

Ennis closed his eyes against the tears that threatened to fall. He took several deep breaths to try to calm himself. He sighed, his eyes fixed on the door. He tried to imagine Alma lying in there, on his bed, naked, ready for whatever he was going to do.

_No use for it, Jack. You ain't here, and you're not gonna be here anytime soon. I don't even know where you are. And now I got a wife, and I'm gonna have kids, and a shitty job, and no best friend. No friend, at all. Just my memories of you. _

_Shit, my wife's waiting for me, isn't she? I can't just keep standing here like an idiot. Gotta get this over with. Gotta do my duty. Maybe then I can think on Jack in peace for a little while. _


	8. Chapter 7: Jack Hears Rumors

**Blood is Thicker than Water... Love is Thicker than Time**

**Chapter 7**

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"So, friend, where are you from?" Jack asked the man next to him at the bar. They'd been drinking next to each other for the past half-hour, and the looks between them were heated in that way that got Jack's blood up. Jack only hoped he wouldn't be rejected again. Too often it was just a look and the man would walk away before there was a chance of anything happening. Too many people were too scared of the consequences to do more than look.

It was going on a year since Jack had had sex with a man, and he was feeling the itch. So far, none of the casual one-night hook-ups had compared to Ennis, not that there were many of those, mind, just six in three and a half years. He doubted anyone ever would compare to Ennis. He'd kept the sex to oral or fucking the other guy, some small part of him hoping he'd find Ennis again. Somehow he couldn't let anyone else fuck him but Ennis. And if he did find Ennis, he knew he'd be able to fuck Ennis as gently as Ennis had fucked him when he was in the mood for that. If only he could convince Ennis to do it that way. Ennis was special, and Jack was very clear with himself that he'd do anything to be with him again.

Ennis was his first, after all, and one never forgot one's first love. With Lureen and the baby at home, he was finding it easier to go out for drinks instead of coming right home after work, giving him more of an opportunity to seek comfort in some stranger's arms. That way, he would also miss LD and Faye and maybe keep some of his dignity.

"Casper, Wyoming," the man answered. "And if I don't miss my guess, you're not from Texas, neither."

"Lightning Flat, Wyoming," Jack answered with a smile and a handshake that lingered a moment too long. The man didn't seem to mind, his eyes roving over Jack's face. "Jack."

"Norman, but you can call me Norm." They smiled at each other. "So what has you down here?"

"Got married," Jack answered without thinking. "I've got a kid, a boy. Six months old. Father-in-law's real important to my wife, so I can't just take them back home. How about you?"

"Buying stock. I'm looking for a bull that can go the distance. I'll be gone tomorrow afternoon if I find one or not, but my boss paid for the motel room at the El Duermo, so I figure I might stay overnight and take another look in the morning."

Jack pondered that answer, realizing that the man had just given him an opening, even though Jack's mention of his wife might have sent the wrong message. That Norm had mentioned his motel by name meant the opening was there. Oh, they had to be careful of how they played this, but if they did it right, Jack would get laid. "Used to ride bulls," he offered. "Won a few buckles in the rodeo before I quit." He flicked the buckle on his belt, thinking of Ennis and how he'd done the same thing for him, trying to get his notice. Was everything about Ennis? He hadn't even seen the man in years!

Norm looked over and met Jack's eyes, holding them for a long moment. "Sure would like to see one a those some day," he said. On the bar he traced a number in the condensation from his beer bottle. Jack nodded in understanding. Norm's room number.

"Well, I've gotta get some shut-eye, myself," Jack answered. "Should probably be going. But I know where to find you if I want to talk about Wyoming, don't I?" Jack got to his feet. He winked and turned towards the bathroom. "See you around," he called over his shoulder.

"See you around," Norm echoed. He was gone by the time Jack returned.

***BBM***

"This, my friend, is the life," Norm said with a sigh of contentment as he lit a cigarette.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked. He settled the sheet over his hips and sat back against the headboard. Norm, completely naked and not bothered by that fact, sat up so that their shoulders were touching. Jack lit his own cigarette.

"Well, if you think about it, we've got a pretty good deal. Sure, we have to be careful all the time, but when it comes down to it, we can have sex and not worry about tomorrow. Sex doesn't mean a commitment, for guys like us."

"I'm not sure I follow you," Jack said.

"It's like this. My brother, right? He's the grocer down in Riverton. He's real sweet on this girl Alma that works for him. Thing is, she's married. And my brother's such a pussy, he never stands up for himself." He paused and blew smoke out of the side of his mouth. "And he doesn't want to go have sex with other people, just in case she leaves her husband, or something like that. So he's screwed, in that he's not getting any at all. You, you've got a wife and a kid and a good life, and you can come do things like this and it serves a need but doesn't have to be the only thing. You got a cover."

"Sex is just sex," Jack muttered to himself. "A one-shot deal."

"Exactly!"

"I had a buddy, once, from Wyoming. He was going to marry a girl named Alma."

"Well, this fella couldn't be your buddy, if we're talking about the same kind of _buddies_. I've never met the man, but my brother says he's traditional as they come. Almost wouldn't let Alma work, even though they needed the money for bills."

"What's his name, though?"

"Hell if I know. Monroe just calls him 'that guy' or 'the husband.' Mighty strange, if you ask me."

"Huh," Jack grunted, already lost in thought. _What if he's talking about Ennis? What if Ennis is in Riverton and I can find a way to go see him? What if —? _

"Were you with your buddy long?" Norm asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"Two and a half months," Jack answered. "Best summer of my life. I was nineteen, and so was he."

"Just kids. He was your first?"

"We were each other's firsts. Neither of us'd been with girls yet, let alone guys."

"You have no idea where he is?"

"He's from Wyoming, too, and so is his girl. Don't know much about her beyond her name. Don't know if she has family. But I figure he stayed close to home, to what little family he has. He's not the type to go exploring. I'm pretty sure he mentioned a sister in Casper, once, but she's married and I don't even know her name. He's got a brother, but they don't get on too well, or didn't, back when I knew him."

"Good luck finding him, Jack. If you ever do, hold on to him. Find a way to make it work. Be ranch neighbors, or something. Get your wives to be friends so you have an excuse to spend a lot of time with him. Hunting trips, or fishing trips, or something."

"You sound like you know from experience."

"I'm a good ten years older than you," Norm said suddenly. "I lost my first love because we were young and stupid. He got married, moved away, and I didn't fight for him. He was killed in an accident on his ranch, thrown from his horse. I lost my second to fear of being found out. The pressure was too much for us. We rode it together for five years, before everything fell apart. I don't have a third, yet, but I keep hoping. One of these days, it'll work out. I'm older than I was, smarter. If I find someone, I know what to do this time. But if this guy from Wyoming is who makes you happy, I say grab it by the horns and ride it as long as you can. Either of you could get killed any day, so take what time the Lord gives you. Don't waste it on fear."

"I could write to him General Delivery in Riverton, see if he's Alma's husband," Jack said to himself.

"If it's him, you'll be glad you did," Norm replied. "What's his name?"

"Ennis," Jack whispered.

"Wish I could help you, but can't say as I recognize the name."

"It'd be too good to be true, finding him like this, when I'm in bed with someone else." Jack snorted at the absurdity of the situation. "Too good to be true and damned fucked up!"

"Amen, brother."

***BBM***

It took Jack a month to build up the courage to send the postcard to Ennis. He got the two-word reply faster than he could have hoped for. It was Ennis! It was Ennis and he wanted to see him! Shit, now he had to wait until the 24th.


	9. Chapter 8: Reunion

**Blood is Thicker than Water… Love is Thicker than Time**

**Chapter 9  
**

_June 24, 1967_

Jack's leg jingled and jumped with nerves the entire drive from Childress to Riverton. He was so excited and nervous he could hardly stand it. Three times he caught himself pushing his truck to 90 miles per hour without realizing it. _Damn lucky I haven't gotten pulled over, _he thought.

The drive that should have taken fourteen hours lasted only twelve, because Jack, fueled on coffee and hope, didn't stop once until he got to Riverton and asked for directions at a gas station where he filled up the tank, took a piss, and changed into a clean shirt. Ten minutes later he pulled up in front of Ennis' apartment.

Ennis had dressed up too, Jack noticed, wearing a nice striped shirt and what looked likely to be his best jeans. Just seeing Ennis after so long gave Jack courage, and they embraced right there in the street, each trying to squeeze the life out of the other, instinct bringing them into each other's arms after so long apart. He felt Ennis' cheek pressed against his own, smelled his shampoo and the beer on his breath and nothing compared. Something long broken in Jack swelled and knit itself back together, just by being in Ennis' presence.

"Son of a bitch," Jack muttered, happier than he could remember being in the last four years all put together, even happier than when his son was born. Of course, LD had ruined that moment, taking over and barely letting Jack see his own son.

Ennis pulled his face away from Jack's shoulder, cheek and stubble scraping, and met his eyes direct-on, holding Jack's gaze for a whole three seconds, a lifetime compared to the brief glances up on Brokeback. They still held each other tightly. Ennis looked around, noted the empty street, and grabbed Jack by the vest, propelling him backwards until Jack slammed against the wall of the building. And then Ennis knocked Jack's hat off his head and kissed him, right there, on the mouth, where anyone passing by could see, grabbing at each other's faces as a confirmation that it was real and not just another masturbatory fantasy. Jack kissed him right back, shoving Ennis against the wall, pressing his body against Ennis, their legs touching, their chests and groins grinding against each other. He felt the unmistakable bulge of Ennis' erection. His own was already painfully ready to be rid of his jeans and in Ennis' hand or mouth. _Oh, nothin' ever felt so fine as to be kissing Ennis, _Jack thought. _Nothin' but havin' him inside me hittin' that sweet spot. _

Then Ennis pulled away. He met Jack's eyes again and patted his cheek, bumped his nose against Jack's, walked toward the steps, nervously putting himself back together, tucking in his shirt and buttoning it. Jack had no choice but to follow. He barely registered what Alma looked like, just a woman with red-brown hair, before they were in his truck again, driving who knew where.

"Pull up here," Ennis said into the silence. Jack did, noting the liqueur store in front of them. "I'll get the whiskey," Ennis said. "Pharmacy's three doors down. Get me a pack of smokes."

"At the pharmacy?" Jack asked, puzzled. "You can't get 'em here, save a trip?"

"If you got what we need, sure, but it don't seem like you do, so get on in there, boy," Ennis answered. He punched Jack's shoulder. "Ain't no way I'm goin' in there to get it, not in my town, no way." Then Ennis was gone, slamming the truck door behind him as he tucked in the back of his shirt yet again and went to buy their whiskey.

Jack, still confused, went to the pharmacy and picked out a few packs of cigarettes, not sure of Ennis' brand and figuring he had the cash for them so might as well get both kinds. He wandered the aisles, wondering what Ennis wanted that he couldn't say.

"Can I help you?" someone asked, just as Jack figured out what Ennis meant. _And he's right, he sure can't be the one buyin' it in his town. Not if he wants it to stay as his town. _

Jack turned to see the balding, middle-aged pharmacist standing next to him. He seemed a good sort, but Jack didn't like to take chances, not with Ennis three doors down for the first time in four years. "Um, maybe. You see, it's a kind a personal issue," Jack mumbled. _Maybe there's something better than Vaseline out there. Hell, won't know unless I ask. But I can't ask for it for why I really need it, so I gotta pretend… Gotta be the guy next door. Not a threat. Not queer. How can I do this without lying? Heck, he probably knows with me sayin' but two words. Just gotta hold on until he gets my drift. _

"Come on over here," the man said, indicating to Jack to follow him to the counter. Jack leaned on his forearms, partway across the counter. The pharmacist mirrored his pose. "Something to do with…"

"Well, you see, my wife, she just had a baby a few months ago," Jack explained in a soft, intense voice. _No lying yet. So far, so good._ "And since then, well… things haven't been so smooth between us, if you know what I mean." _Also true. _He'd only slept with Lureen three times since Bobby was born, and Lureen hadn't liked it much at all. Neither had Jack, but he wasn't about to tell anyone why, not with the main reason nearby in his best jeans and a clean shirt, ready and willing to give Jack what he'd been craving for four long, desperate, lonely years.

"I think I get your drift," the pharmacist said. He turned his back to Jack and reached for a tube of k-y jelly. "It's a common problem for women after pregnancies. This should help. Just put a bit of this on yourself beforehand, and it'll be like slidin' into the bath."

Jack took the tube and squinted at it. "Never seen nothin' like this before," he admitted. _True again_. He'd used oil or fat with Ennis, or Vaseline when they had it, and the guys he'd been with since hadn't had anything different, mostly just spit, like that first night with Ennis, and Jack sure was glad he'd been the one doing the fucking, knowing how much that hurt. Still they wanted it that way, so who was he to argue? Beggers couldn't be choosers, that's what his daddy always said. Only damn thing his daddy got right. "'Personal lubricant,'" he read. "What's that mean?"

"Doctors use it mainly for exams and that kind a thing, but they found it keeps things slick when a wife's not. Hell, I used to have a queer come in here a few times from a couple a towns over, just for this stuff. Said it was the best thing he'd found, but he got run off last year. Not that I want anythin' to do with what they get up to."

"A 'course not," Jack agreed, feeling slightly sick to his stomach, giving the responses he knew he had to give. "Them queers, gotta watch out for 'em." He paused, leaned closer to whisper conspiratorially, knowing what he'd have to do to keep safe and hating it. But he had to see if Ennis would be safe, if anything ever came out about them. "That queer, he just get run off, or he get a tire iron?"

"What you know 'bout that?"

"I heard a it happenin' like that sometimes. Nothin' I'd do, personally, mind, but a person's gotta be decent, y'know?"

"Those queers ain't got a decent bone in their bodies, that's what I say. Whole town thinks so. This one, he was lucky, it was the older guys found out, drove him off before the young ones could hear of it. They'd learned that much, at least, bein' older. It'd be tire irons for sure if the young ones got to him."

"Shee-it!"

"Now, I don't believe in murder, and that's what that'd be, but I definitely don't want no queers livin' in my town, and that's the God-given truth." The man sighed. "Still, money is money, and his was just as green as yours or mine, and don't mind sayin' that."

"Damn! And you say queer guys use this stuff?" Jack asked, holding up the tube. "Maybe I don't want it, after all," he muttered, though it was more about not wanting to buy anything from this bastard. He dropped it back to the counter, ready to face Ennis with just spit if he had to. The pharmacist frowned.

"I'll do ya a favor, since ya seem like a decent guy," the pharmacist said. He took the k-y and put it back on the shelf. He selected a different tube. Also k-y, but larger, with different color markings than the first one. "This is the good stuff. Lasts longer than the other. I ain't never sold it to queers, I can tell you that. How about it? I'll give it to you for the price a the other one."

"Well, that's mighty generous of you," Jack replied, thinking, _You just did sell it to a queer, asshole. What you gotta say 'bout that, huh? _"I'm sure my wife'd thank you." Jack paid and returned to the truck to find Ennis waiting impatiently. He handed Ennis the paper sack with the k-y and cigarettes.

"What took you so long?" Ennis grumbled, directing Jack away from town towards a small motel that wouldn't ask questions. Not that he'd ever been there, but that's what some of the other ranch hands said, and Ennis had learned a lot of useful things just by listening to them. Like how to give a blow job or needing to use Vaseline for a slick fit, like when the bulls or stallions went to stud. That little tidbit sure came in handy up on the mountain, once he remembered it.

"Had to sweet talk the fellow there with a sob-story 'bout my wife afore he'd part with it," Jack answered, the sick feeling in his stomach dissipating as soon as he could see Ennis. He knew better than to try to touch him in public, even with the kiss, and in his truck on one of the main roads was hardly out of the public eye, so he kept his hands to himself, much as it pained him.

"Shit, really? You got some special kind, or somethin'?" Ennis opened the bag and pulled out the tube. "What the fuck's this?" he demanded.

"Better'n Vaseline," Jack said with a huge grin. "Guy said it was like slidin' into bathwater, if by bathwater you mean pussy. I reckon it'll work just fine for us, too." He decided not to mention the comment about queers, in case Ennis would worry about that kind of thing. A kiss in the open like they'd shared didn't mean Ennis was ready to call himself queer, even though things were looking good about tonight.

Ennis grunted. "Huh. Well, it's your ass that'll get the poundin', so I ain't got much say in the matter," he muttered under his breath. "I guess we can try it."

"You'll see, Ennis. It'll be great." _Yep, things're looking good for tonight! _


	10. Chapter 9: Siesta Motel

**Blood is Thicker than Water... Love is Thicker than Time**

**Chapter 8: Siesta Motel  
**

A/N: Warnings for smut in this chapter. Enjoy!

.

.

_June 24, 1967, continued..._

As soon as the door to the ratty room at the Siesta Motel closed behind him, Ennis grabbed Jack and kissed him hard. Jack kissed back, grinding himself against Ennis.

"Get your fucking clothes off," Ennis growled, pushing Jack towards the bed. He pulled his shirt out of his jeans and pulled it off along with his undershirt, not bothering to unbutton it.

Jack didn't hesitate, putting the whiskey on a side table and pulling off his boots and throwing his jeans on the back of a chair, wanting the most important parts to be bare the soonest. By that time, Ennis was completely naked, his erection jutting from his body proudly. Jack's matched his, just as ready, just as hard. He took off his down vest. Ennis growled again, impatient, tugging off Jack's shirt over his head, throwing it unceremoniously to the floor, inside out and rumpled, like his own.

They fell into bed, scrabbling at each other, kissing, biting, scratching, hands roaming, both hungry and desperate. Jack pulled Ennis on top of him, groaning in pleasure as he felt Ennis' weight settle, pressing him into the thin mattress. _Too long, _Jack thought. _It's been too long. _Ennis reached between them, tugged on Jack's erection.

"Need to taste you," Ennis gasped. "Need to be inside you!"

Jack bared his neck for Ennis to suck or bite on, he didn't care which. "Fuck me first," Jack ordered. "You can lick the cum off me."

"Where's that stuff?" Ennis demanded, prodding Jack's ass with a finger, testing Jack's comfort even in his haste to be inside him.

"Fuck if I know!" Jack exclaimed, needing Ennis inside him after so long, not caring if it would hurt. There were a lot of things he didn't care about tonight, as long as he got Ennis inside him. He grabbed Ennis' face and pulled him even closer, planting quick, firm kisses all over Ennis' cheeks and lips and nose and ears. "Just do it!"

"If you think I'm doin' it without somethin' to make it easier, you got another thing comin'. We got a whole night ahead of us, and a lot a things to do, so you better be ready."

Ennis jumped from bed and found the paper bag where it sat on the floor by the door, discarded in the intensity of that first kiss, ripping it open in his haste to get at the lube. Belatedly, he locked the door, shrugging at Jack's quiet chuckle. He tossed the cigarettes to the side table by the whiskey, opened the tube of k-y and slathered some on his erection, returning to the bed and Jack, dropping the tube on the nightstand next to everything else. Jack rolled to his front, moving to get on his hands and knees, but Ennis' hand on his shoulder made him freeze.

"Ennis?"

"Stay on your back. We're doin' it right this time," Ennis said softly. He helped Jack turn over again and bent to kiss him, tangling his hand in his hair, neither caring about the leftover k-y on it.

"I don't understand," Jack whispered.

"It's better face-to-face, isn't it? After all this time?" Ennis asked. "We can do it the other way later." Silently, Jack nodded, grinning hugely, a dream come true that Ennis would want it this way before anything else. Ennis smiled and proceeded to nip at Jack's collarbone, chest, hips. Jack bucked under him, gasping and groaning in pleasure. Ennis stretched him gently but roughly, quickly but thoroughly, his fingers slick with more k-y. "Ready?"

Jack answered the only way he could in that moment, nodding his head up and down enthusiastically as he bit on the back of his hand to keep from making too much noise. He raised his legs, opening himself in invitation. With a moan of pure bliss, Ennis slipped past the first ring of muscle and seated himself all the way inside Jack. Even with the preparations, Jack felt the pain of the burn, though he grabbed Ennis to kiss him and distract him from the problem.

"Feels so damned good," Jack gasped, already used to it after the few seconds Ennis gave him to adjust. "I won't last long."

"Me neither," Ennis answered, capturing Jack's lips again as he thrust powerfully. A few quick twitches of the hips, a few direct hits to Jack's prostate, the unbelievable heat and tightness of Jack, and both were overwhelmed, shuddering through their orgasms as they shouted out and clung to each other as if their lives depended on it.

"Oh, God," Jack moaned loudly, unable to keep quiet in the wake of the things his body was feeling. Another thing he no longer cared about tonight. "Oh, God, I needed this, Ennis!"

"Me, too, darlin'," Ennis whispered as he nuzzled Jack's sweaty neck. He sighed, the intensity of the orgasm loosening his tongue in a way nothing else ever did. "Not often a guy like me gets the chance to make up for somethin' he done wrong, Jack. I did wrong by you that first night. I ain't never forgotten."

"You don't have to —"

"Let me finish! I been thinkin' on what I'm gonna say ever since I got that postcard, hell, ever since that night, so shut up an' let me have my say, 'cause you might never hear it again." Jack nodded solemnly, his eyes locked on Ennis'. "I didn't know what I had that summer, Jack, and I held us back from what we coulda been. I shoulda never let you out a my sight. I know that now." Ennis paused, looking away, his anxiety skyrocketing. "I don't wanna let you go again."

"You don't have to," Jack said, reaching up to cup Ennis' cheek with one hand, knowing that this was as close as Ennis might ever get to admitting that he loved Jack, given how taciturn he usually was. "You don't have to let me go."

"I was sick to my stomach for months," Ennis admitted. He settled down on the bed, reaching for a cigarette. Absently, he lit one for Jack, too, and handed it over. "Took me a long time to realize it was 'cause a you not bein' there. Four years since then. Four fuckin' years. Didn't know where'n the _hell_ you was. I just about gave up on you. Figured you was sore about that punch."

"I went back the next summer, heard you wasn't there but had no way to find you. That's when I went down to Texas to rodeo. Made three fuckin' thousand dollars that year. Nearly starved. Wasn't sure if you wanted me to look you up, we parted so badly. But I gave it a try, and then I got your postcard, and friend, I redlined it all the way up here, I needed you so bad. Had a hard on the whole fuckin' way!"

Ennis chuckled at the image of Jack driving with a hard on for fourteen hours. "You knew we was gonna get into this again?" he asked.

"No," Jack answered. Ennis gave him a skeptical look. Jack relented. "Yeah. I thought we might. I hoped we would. Kept thinkin' a some a those things we did up on Brokeback, thought if I was ever gonna do 'em again, I'd have to do 'em with you." He laughed. "Didn't think you'd kiss me like that in front a your place, though. You sure surprised me!"

"You didn't exactly protest," Ennis pointed out.

"Well, you was kissin' me too hard to get a word in edgewise. Not that I'd a protested too much." He nudged Ennis' cheek with his nose. "I missed you," he whispered.

Ennis kissed him for it, but didn't say it back, thinking that it was so obvious that it didn't need to be said. He wouldn't have kissed Jack like that if he didn't miss him, after all. "I been sittin' up here all this time tryin' to figure out if I was… I know I ain't. I mean, here we both got wives and kids, right? So I figure neither of us could be... I like doin' it with women, sure, but … Jesus H, ain't nothin' like this!" Ennis stubbed out his cigarette and lit a new one.

"Must be all your time ahorseback," Jack joked, prodding Ennis' shoulder with a finger. "Never had anything even comes close to this," he added. "Nothing's ever been so good." They kissed passionately a few times until they could barely breathe, pulled away to look at each other for a moment. Ennis grinned and began licking Jack's cum off his stomach, his dick. It was already partially dry, so he made an extra effort to scrape it off with his tongue. Jack shuddered beneath him, growing hard, coming in Ennis' mouth. He didn't think he'd be able to do it again so soon, but Ennis had a way of bringing it out in him, increasing his stamina, making the wait time between going at it shorter, anything to have more of Ennis.

"Never had no thoughts a doin' it with another guy," Ennis said firmly after he swallowed and finished his cleaning efforts. "You ever think a that? Jack?" Ennis looked up to Jack's eyes, then away, the fear and loneliness and anxiety and hope in his voice and posture heartbreaking to Jack, telling Jack all he needed to know about Ennis' marriage and where he himself fit into it.

"No," Jack answered immediately, praying that he made the right choice to lie. Was is better to lie now, so that Ennis stayed with him and face his anger later, when the lie came out, or risk Ennis leaving right this moment, when it's clear Ennis doesn't think of himself as queer and doesn't want Jack to, either? When it was clear that Ennis wanted Jack to himself? When it was clear, as it had never been on the mountain, that Ennis was afraid, but willing to be with Jack, because Jack completed him in some strange way neither of them understood? That Ennis was 100% aware that he was having sex with _Jack_, a _man_, and loved it, and _needed_ it, just as much as Jack did?

"Old Brokeback got us good," Jack muttered. He reached for the bottle of whiskey, taking a long swallow before passing it over. "We gotta figure out what we're gonna do now. Friend, we got us a fuckin' situation here."

"Ain't nothin' we can do," Ennis said softly. "Ain't no reins on this one and it scares the piss outta me."

"Me, too," Jack admitted. "An' I ain't ashamed to admit it." He sighed, kissed Ennis' shoulder.

Ennis stubbed out his cigarette, took Jack's and did the same. He pulled Jack to him, held him tight. "At least tonight, I don't have to let you go," he murmured in that low, silky voice that sent shivers of desire and need down Jack's spine. Ennis kissed the side of Jack's neck. Jack turned so they could kiss for real, slow, languid kisses like they'd rarely taken the time for when they'd been on the mountain, because they were working, one of them, usually Ennis, who had a more strict work ethic, always calling a halt to get back to the sheep, or because the moment became too intimate and therefor too scary for a pair of 19-year-old ranch kids who'd never known or seen that kind of affection. Ennis' fingers played lightly over Jack's cheeks, his ears, in his hair, Jack doing the same thing, both enjoying the intimacy of the moment, the gentleness of it, the newness. _The rightness, _Jack thought. He reveled in the rasp of stubble against his fingers, against his cheek and lips.

"Like I said, we don't have to be apart ever again, if we don't wanna be," Jack murmured, kissing Ennis' ear.

"Yeah? How you reckon?"

Jack paused, thinking of the dream he'd had back on Brokeback, the dream he'd carefully nourished the last four years, in case he ever found Ennis again and Ennis wanted him, wanted something with him, wanted more than just a friend to fuck when there were no women around. He could tell from how Ennis touched him and by what he said that he wanted it, the chance at a life together. "We could get a little spread together, just the two of us. A ranch. A cow and calf operation, or horse breeding, maybe. Lureen's old man, he hates my guts. I reckon he'd give me a bunch to get lost. Hell, he practically said it already. Could be a down payment, or somethin'. It'd be a real sweet life."

Ennis buried his face in the crook between Jack's shoulder and neck, his shoulders shaking. "Won't work, bud," Ennis finally said, his voice muffled. "Two guys livin' together? No way! We'd get killed or worse."

"We'd be together," Jack protested. "We'd protect each other. Don't you want that? Isn't that what this is all about?"

"I ain't gonna watch you die 'cause a me," Ennis returned decisively. "And that's that. We can meet up, every so often, out in the middle a nowhere, but that's it. I got a life here, got my girls. Alma, it's not her fault. I love my girls, Jack, I can't leave 'em."

"So that's it, then?" Jack growled, pushing Ennis off him. "We meet up, secret-like, ever' four fuckin' years?"

"You ain't seen what I seen," Ennis protested. "They take tire irons to people who do stuff like this."

"I know," Jack replied. "So we be careful. Find a place no one knows us. Don't show it off. We'd just be two friends ownin' a ranch together. Folks do it all the time. Hell, we could say we was cousins, or half-brothers or somethin'."

Ennis snorted with laughter. "You and me? Cousins? Nobody'd believe that! Nor half-brothers, neither. No. It won't work. 'Specially if we can't be decent 'round each other, like back there. We do that, in the wrong place, in the wrong time, we're dead." He paused a moment, got out of bed, started pacing. Jack sat there, watching. Ennis, who wasn't one to enjoy being naked, walked back and forth across the room, not noticing that he hadn't a stitch on him.

"There was these two old guys ranched up together back home," Ennis said in an intense voice, the words seeming to be pulled reluctantly from him. "Earl and Rich. They were the laughingstock of the whole town, even though they were tough old birds. Well, one day they found Earl dead in a irrigation ditch. They took a tire iron to him, spurred him up, drug him around by his dick 'til it pulled off…" He stooped moving, leaning against the wall, his back to Jack.

"You seen that?" Jack asked in a thin voice. His cheeks lost all their color. Suddenly, the conversation with the pharmacist took a different light. Suddenly, he had an image in his head of what, exactly, Ennis was so afraid of. He tried _very hard_ not to picture Ennis in that position, dead in a ditch like that. He pictured it anyway, knew Ennis was picturing _his_ face broken and bloodied.

"I was what, nine years old? Dad took me an' KE to see it. Made sure we saw the whole thing. Gave us a big speech 'bout what happens to queers, how they get what they deserve for bein' against God's law. I ain't gettin' mixed up in that bullshit."

"Shit," Jack muttered. "No wonder…"

"Hell, for all I know, he might've done the job himself. If he was to stick his head in that door, he'd be gettin' out his tire iron for sure. I ain't gonna risk that, not for me, an' 'specially not for you. How many times I gotta say it?" Ennis demanded. "Now, I'm not sayin' I won't do this again, so don't get all worried for nothin', but we gotta be careful. Don't think I could go on, losin' you again."

Ennis shuffled back to the bed, settled himself next to Jack. "You can't come back to Riverton. It's too dangerous. That tire iron shit still happens 'round here. Some a the boys drove off a queer few years ago. He didn't get the tire iron, but it was a close call. There was talk of lookin' for him, but it was let go. Too close for my comfort, you ask me."

Jack nodded, his eyes wide with fear, unable to say anything. They sat in silence for several minutes, smoking, passing the bottle back and forth, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Ennis took a deep breath and asked a question he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to.

"I look at people on the street, wonder if this kind a thing happens to them. People that ain't queer. What do they do 'bout it?"

"I don't give a flyin' fuck what other people do!" Jack exploded. "This ain't no little thing between us, Ennis!"

"I know!" Ennis shouted back. "You think I don't know that? I goddamn hate that you're gonna drive away in the mornin' and I'm goin' back to my sorry life, but when you can't fix it, you gotta stand it." He closed his eyes tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to hold back tears. "I wouldn't be so fuckin' miserable if it was a small thing," he added brokenly. "But I've got this life here. I'm stuck in my own loop. And you've got a wife and kid down in Texas. What 'bout them, huh? What we gonna do 'bout them? I can't abandon those girls, damn it!"

"Oh, Ennis," Jack whispered, his anger flowing away at the sight of Ennis' pain. "We'll figure it out. We'll figure somethin' out. I promise, I won't come to Riverton unless there's a emergency, alright? Is that OK?"

Ennis nodded, a tear escaping his tightly closed eyes.

They clung to each other for a long time, neither moving, neither trying to talk. Slowly, Jack began running his hands along Ennis' body, down his arms, across his ass, up his back. Ennis responded, falling easily into the rhythm of love-making that lasted the rest of the night.

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***BBM**

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Five in the morning found them curled up in bed under the thin motel blanket, sound asleep, Ennis spooning Jack from behind, as easy as can be. Ennis blinked awake, his internal clock as accurate as ever. He rolled onto his back, releasing Jack. _Oh God,_ he thought, running his fingers through his hair._ I gotta let him go again. Shit. It's worse than before, ain't it? We got, what, an hour, maybe two, before I gotta be at work? I can't be late, that foreman hates me. But the asshole owes me, too, goddamn it._

_Fuck! Why do I go in an hour early every day? That way it'd seem like I was late if I really wasn't. Damn it. I dug my own grave 'bout that one. But it means less time with Alma, and she's a sour little bitch most a the time, so until today, there was nothin' wrong with goin' in early. But today I got Jack here, and I need all the time I can get with him 'cause I got no idea when I'll see him again._

_Shit, what do I do? Either way I lose._

He turned to look at Jack's peaceful, sleeping face and something in his chest started hurting.

_He looks like a god-damned baby when he sleeps. Even smiles in his sleep. Damn, but I sure do love that smile._

He reached for the phone on the side table.

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***BBM***

.

Jack woke to the sound of Ennis cursing.

"Well, fuck you, too!" Ennis shouted, slamming down the phone. He punched the small table hard, swearing. The empty whiskey bottle fell off to land on the floor. He took a few calming breaths and looked over at Jack. "Lost my fuckin' job," he explained, his voice an angry growl.

"What? Why?"

"That fuckin' foreman owes me," Ennis snarled, climbing out of bed. "I went in on Christmas Day, in a blizzard, 'cause some a the heifers was calvin'. Christmas _fuckin_' Day, and now he won't give me two lousy days off. Made Junior and Francie cry 'cause I couldn't be there. Fuckin' bastard. Asshole."

"You asked for two days off?" Jack asked, confused and still half asleep. "Why?"

"'Cause then it'd be three days, what with my regular day off, an' we could go up to the mountains." Ennis shrugged, blushing, his anger melted away at the thought of being in the mountains with Jack again. "You drove all this way. It's a waste for just one day, ain't it?"

"So we got three more days?" Jack asked, springing to a sitting position, unable to keep the excitement from his voice.

"I reckon we got a week," Ennis answered. "I ain't got a job no more. Can't be longer'n that, on account a Alma an' the girls, but…" He trailed off, looking bashfully at Jack. "If you wanna go up there with me…"

Jack swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. "I, um, yeah. Yeah, let's go to the mountains!"

"Good. Now come'n get in this shower with me," Ennis ordered, turning for the bathroom. "We'll see if I can fuck you standin' up. Ain't never done that before. An' after that you're gonna fuck me while we still got this bed to do it on."

Jack's mouth dropped open in shock. "Did you just say what I think you said?"

"Yeah, now get over here, asshole, or we won't have time. Check out's at nine an' it might take a while for me to be ready to do it so's it don't hurt. An' we sure ain't doin' it like that for the first time on the hard ground!"

"You sure you want that?"

"It don't mean I'm queer or nothin'," Ennis reminded him forcefully.

"No! A 'course not!" Jack agreed quickly, getting out of bed. "You just wanna try it once is all, right?" he continued, giving Ennis the rationalization he knew Ennis needed. "It'll, um, it'll help you do me better 'cause you'll know what it's like."

Ennis nodded. "As long as we understand each another."

"We understand each other, Ennis, be sure a that," Jack said, thinking, _He's as queer as me, just don't wanna be called that. Fine, I can live with that. Not that I wanna be called queer, neither, but I know I am. Won't never say it, though, 'cause if I don't say it, I got Ennis back in my life again. Don't ever need no one else now that I got Ennis back. Not guys, not girls, as long at I got him. Don't have him near as much as I want him, but I can work on that. The more we meet, the more he'll want it. I'll wear him down about it, yet, no worries on that. _

_Thank you, God, for helpin' me find him again! Thank you, God!_


	11. Chapter 10: March, 1968

**Blood is Thicker than Water... Love is Thicker than Time**

**Chapter 10: March, 1968**

A/N: Enjoy!

.

"Jack? I ever tell you 'bout my weddin' night with Alma?" Ennis asked into the dark of their tent. Jack, almost asleep, groaned before answering. It _would_ be the middle of the night when Ennis brought up this topic, one Jack had hoped never to have to hear about. And it _would_ be their last night together, too. Somehow, being alone in the dark tent on top of a mountain in the middle of the night loosened Ennis' tongue and started him talking, especially if they'd just had sex, which they had.

"No," Jack answered, not bothering to hide his annoyance at the topic.

"It was horrible," Ennis continued as if he hadn't heard the emotion in Jack's voice. He pulled Jack close against him and nuzzled Jack's neck. "Nothin' like what you an' me had, that's for damned sure. No real way ta compare them, you know?"

Jack sighed, wishing it was warm enough that they could be naked together. As it was, they were each wearing their clothes and coats, pulled on as soon as they were finished fucking. He shivered slightly. "Your nose is cold," he protested. He wondered if he could distract Ennis away from this topic, though when Ennis got talking like this in the middle of the night, it wasn't always an easy task to distract him when Jack was too tired to have sex again.

"I was so scared that night. I didn't have no idea what I was s'pposed ta do!" Ennis kissed the spot he'd just nuzzled, his lips warm against Jack's skin. Jack yawned.

"Wasn't that the point of how we got started? To practice so you'd know what to do?"

"Well, yeah, I guess, but you don't understand. I'd been with you all summer. Spent the next three months wringin' it out thinkin' a _you_. Every morning, woke up thinkin' a you. Had no idea what ta do with a girl."

Jack snorted. "It's basically the same," he muttered, not sure how he'd allowed himself to be drawn into the conversation. "Stick your dick in her, like you stuck it in me," he muttered.

"Well, I didn't know that then, did I?" Ennis unfastened Jack's coat and slipped his hands inside, caressing his chest through the material of his shirt. "And it's not the same, anyway. Wasn't just stickin' it in you, not after the second night. You know that." He paused, thinking, then continued. "I was, what, 19 years old, just spent over two months fuckin' you? Knew every damned way ta make you hard, ta make you come. Didn't even know if girls _could_ come!"

"Boy, you was an ignorant sonuvabitch, wasn't you?"

"Damn right. 'Least I had an idea what ta do with some parts a her. Figured nipples was nipples, skin was skin, right? It was just — when I got between her legs that I got lost again. Knew I had ta do her, but…"

"She don't got no dick," Jack suggested. "And I know how you like touchin' an' suckin' mine." Jack grinned in the dark, thinking of how Ennis had blown him quite enthusiastically not an hour before.

"Shut up, asshole," Ennis muttered affectionately. "My mouth never went down there, I tell you that. Wasn't gonna even try."

Jack laughed, feeling lighter knowing that Ennis hadn't gone down on his wife and saved that sort of thing for him. He'd only ever let Ennis fuck him, so it was good to know there were things they each saved for the other. And Jack would bet good money that he was the only one who'd ever fucked Ennis, not that they'd done it more than the one time at the Siesta Motel back in '67. "It's not all it's cracked up to be, going down on a woman," Jack admitted.

"You done it with your wife?"

"A time or two. Thought she might like it, but she said it was just annoyin', so we didn't do it any more after the second time."

"Huh. You an' her actually talk about sex?"

"No, just that one time. Oh, and the first time I met her, we was makin' out in her daddy's car and she asked if we was goin' too fast. I said no, and next thing I knew, she was topless and pullin' off my belt!"

"Wow! Alma'd never do that."

"She don't do it no more," Jack said. "Not since she found out she was pregnant with Bobby." Ennis grunted. "Stopped doin' a lot a things when she found out she was pregnant," Jack muttered darkly.

They lay in silence for a time, Ennis' hands undoing buttons, reaching for bare skin. He slipped a hand down the front of Jack's jeans and found Jack's cock. He started stroking him. Jack could feel Ennis' erection pressing up against him. He sighed in pleasure, let Ennis take off his coat and shirt, scrambled out of his jeans until he was as naked as could be. Ennis stayed dressed, though he lowered his jeans so his cock could feel the air and be ready when it was time. Jack shifted, rubbing his bare ass up and down along Ennis' erection, moaning at the heat Ennis exuded. Ennis held Jack's ass crack apart and slicked up his cock, using the column he created to increase their pleasure. Every so often he pressed the head of his cock against Jack's hole before rubbing some more.

"God, Ennis," Jack moaned. "We just fucked, and already you got me wantin' more!"

"I know, Rodeo. You're all bothered over here, ain't you?" Ennis licked along Jack's neck. "I like it when you're all bothered like this."

"You can bother me like this any time you want, Cowboy!" Jack exclaimed, sucking in a breath as Ennis pinched one of his nipples.

"This one time — when me an' Alma were doin' it — I did this thing —"

Jack felt his erection melt away like the early snow that melted and flowed down the mountain as water their last day on Brokeback.

"Hey, bud, what's wrong?" Ennis asked.

Anger flooded Jack's system and he surged away from Ennis. He pulled on his jeans and left the tent before his temper could hurt them both with words he knew he would regret.

"Jack?" Ennis asked, popping his head out of the tent.

"Fuck you!" Jack shouted, kicking the fire back to life. He grabbed a pair of logs and settled them on top of the coals.

"What's got into you?" Ennis demanded, pulling up his own jeans and clambering out of the tent.

"If you don't know, then maybe you'd better ask _Alma,"_ Jack replied, turning her name into a curse, his voice filled with venom. He fumbled around for some kindling, lit it, got the fire bright and high.

"There's no way in hell I'm askin' her anything about this! Now tell me what's wrong," Ennis demanded.

Jack stalked over to Ennis and poked him hard in the chest with a finger. "I'll tell you this once, Ennis Del Mar, and you better fuckin' learn, 'cause I ain't gonna say it again. I do _not_ want to hear about you and Alma! I don't want to know what you do in bed with her, I don't want to hear about you havin' sex with her, and I don't want to know what your god-damned weddin' night with her was like! You hear me?"

"But… don't friends talk 'bout this kinda thing? Ain't we friends?"

"Friends, maybe, but we're a damned sight more'n just friends!"

"Are you jealous?" Ennis demanded, incredulously.

"Fuck you!" Jack repeated, turning back to the fire and crossing his arms over his bare chest.

"Are you _jealous_ of _Alma_? You got nothin' ta be jealous of!" Jack bit his cheek to keep from responding, glaring at the fire as if it were the cause of his anger and pain. Ennis walked over, put a hand on Jack's shoulder, but Jack shrugged it off. "Jack, darlin', fuckin' Alma ain't nothin' like bein' with you. It's just fuckin' with her. It's more'n that with you. I thought you knew that."

"Just fuckin'," Jack said softly. "So, what's it with me, huh, if it's not just fuckin'?"

"I don't know! Don't think there's a word for it, really," Ennis replied. He sounded embarrassed. Jack grunted in reply but didn't say anything. "Come on, talk ta me. What're you thinkin'? You're always the one with all them fancy words. What do you think it is?"

"I'm askin' you. Find the words. Tell me, what is it with me?" Jack responded. "I always find the words, and I'm usually fine with that, but for once, you need to find 'em."

"I ain't got 'em!"

"Then I ain't got 'em either."

"Jack…" Ennis pleaded. "Come on, give me somethin' ta work with, here."

Jack snorted derisively. "I give you all I got, Ennis. I give an' give an' give. It's your turn."

"Selfish bastard," Ennis muttered, lighting a cigarette. They stood in silence, Ennis smoking, Jack wishing he had a cigarette but too proud to ask Ennis for one. It was his own fault he'd smoked all the ones he'd brought up there anyway. Ennis knew he was out, because he'd been complaining about it over dinner. He'd hoped he'd be all right without one until they got on the road in the morning and he could buy more, and told Ennis not to give him any, but fighting with Ennis always made him want one. Besides, he could buy more later when Ennis might not have the money right now, he reasoned. Ennis flicked the butt into the fire. "It's been over a year since I fucked her," Ennis finally offered in a voice devoid of emotions.

"What?" Jack demanded, startled.

"Yeah. Christmas before last, she asked me ta wear rubbers on account of her not wantin' another baby. I told her I wasn't doin' it with no rubber, so we ain't done it since."

"Damn, that's harsh! At least Lureen had the decency to go on the Pill when she didn't want to worry 'bout that kind a thing."

"You still do it with her?"

"Once a month, or maybe every other," Jack admitted.

"Well, all I got is you, so keep that in mind, you hear?" Ennis pulled out his pack of cigarettes, realized that the box was empty, and tossed it in the fire. He pulled a second from his other pocket. "Damn, on my last pack already." He lit two, handed one over to Jack without Jack having to ask. They both inhaled, blew the blue smoke from their mouths. Things seemed to settle down between them. The air was more clear and Jack was thrilled to know that Ennis was only sleeping with him. Maybe he'd stop sleeping with Lureen, also? Just to be true to Ennis, since Ennis was being true to him.

"Leave her," Jack blurted. "Come away with me. I'll leave Lureen. We can get our own spread, just us."

The fire crackling was the only sound in the night for a long minute. Jack felt his spirits dropping as the silence lengthened.

"Damn it, Twist! Why you have ta go an' say shit like that?" Ennis shouted. "It's the same answer, same as always. I can't leave her an' the girls. Fuckin' A, but I hate you sometimes! Why you have ta make me say no ta you again? Why you have ta do this ta us? Don't you know how much it hurts me ta have ta say no all the time?"

"Ennis —"

"No! Don't say no more, Jack. I ain't talkin' ta you now." Ennis ground out his cigarette and stomped off into the tent, cursing and swearing to himself and at Jack the entire time.

Jack stood before the fire, feeling the cold of the mountain air seeping into his bones, despite the warmth of the fire. He shivered and tried to keep from crying. He hated crying when Ennis was around, though he almost always did it when he was on his way back to Texas or over to Lightning Flat after one of their fishing trips. Fuck his daddy for saying that men didn't cry. Jack didn't care, couldn't stop himself half the time even if he did.

Twenty minutes after he disappeared, a silent Ennis left the tent and put Jack's parka over his shoulders before retreating once more into the tent. Jack sighed again and zipped up the parka, shoving his hands in the pockets to keep warm. There was something in the pocket.

A puzzled frown on his face, Jack pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Ennis' cigarettes. His last pack of the week.

_A peace offering, _Jack thought, pulling one out and lighting it. _He knows I don't got no more, and even though he don't have more'n this either, he wants me to have 'em so I'll feel better, being out here all alone, after he rejected me again. He doesn't want to reject me, but feels he's gotta. Just trying to make things OK between us again. Shit, but he can be real good to me sometimes. _

After smoking a few cigarettes, Jack felt calm enough to return to the tent where he cuddled up with Ennis again, secure in Ennis' arms, at least for the rest of the night.


	12. Chapter 11: October, 1971

**Blood is Thicker than Water... Love is Thicker than Time  
**

**Chapter 11: October, 1971  
**

_._

_._

_October, 1971_

The growling of a familiar engine and gravel crunching under tires alerted Ennis to his visitor's arrival thirty seconds before the truck pulled up on the far side of his truck. He straightened from where he was pushing his daughters on the swings, told the girls to stay where they were, and rushed around the front of his truck to confront the man slamming the door of his own truck much louder than necessary. Ennis didn't need to look at the man to know who he was. Jack Twist, in Riverton, in front of Ennis' apartment. Ennis had a moment of fear — Jack had promised that he'd only come to Riverton if there was an emergency — but Ennis not being at their campsite at the usual time probably qualified for Jack, and Ennis might be pissed, but he wasn't cruel. A small part of his mind had known that Jack would come, and had even prepared what he was going to say. It didn't mean he wasn't angry, though.

Ennis grabbed Jack by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the side of his truck, mimicking their reunion kiss, except that this time he was angry, not passionate. And this time there was no kiss. He pressed his body against Jack's, a thigh slipping between his legs unconsciously. Before Jack could do more than open his mouth, Ennis let go of Jack's collar to cup the back of his head and force their eyes to meet. He leaned his forehead against Jack's.

"Shut the fuck up an' listen fer once in yer life, Jack fuckin' Twist," Ennis snarled, his face mere inches from Jack's. "Alma's sick an' her sister can't get here til tomorrow. No way to let you know. An' you know my girls're the only things that'd keep me from you right now, don't you, Rodeo?"

"Ennis," Jack whispered. He swallowed the anger he'd been holding tight in his chest for the last 36 hours so he wouldn't think about why Ennis hadn't been at their campsite yesterday or why he hadn't shown up this morning. So he didn't have to worry that maybe this time Ennis just plain wouldn't show up, or that this was it for their "fishing trips." Jack couldn't contemplate losing that, and nursed the anger that Ennis was at home with his family when he was supposed to be with _him, _one of the few times Ennis would allow them to be together. Easier to do that than have to worry that something really bad had happened to Ennis and he'd be gone from Jack's life permanently. But seeing Ennis, feeling him pressed against his body, and hearing the affectionate nickname in Ennis' gravely voice calmed Jack the way nothing else could.

"She won't let no one else take care a them," Ennis continued, slightly calmer. His eyes flared with some unnamed emotion as his voice lowered huskily. "Burnin' me up inside we missed yesterday an' today an' prob'ly most a tomorrow. But my girls come first. Got it?"

"I got it, Ennis. I got it," Jack reassured him quickly. "I'm a daddy, too." He watched as Ennis glanced around them quickly. The girls remained on the other side of the truck and no one was on the street. He raised his hands to Ennis' shoulders. They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment as Jack felt his cock fill at being so close to Ennis after five long months away. Ennis hardened just as quickly. Ennis' eyes darted around again, finally landing on Jack's face. His gaze dropped briefly to Jack's lips. Jack licked them, drawing a longing look from Ennis.

"It's alright," he whispered, squeezing Ennis' shoulders, trying to reassure him as he'd done that second night in the tent up on Brokeback when Ennis had been as skittish as a young colt. "It's alright. Once her sister's here, we can go. I know we gotta wait. I was just worried you'd been in an accident, or somethin'."

"Fuck, Jack," Ennis hissed, pressing his leg against Jack's erection much more forcefully for a moment before releasing him entirely and backing away with a frustrated groan. "What you do to me."

"Same here, Cowboy," Jack replied, adjusting his shirt and jeans to relieve the pressure. Suddenly Ennis swooped in and pressed his lips to Jack's for the smallest fraction of a second. It was so quick that Jack thought he'd imagined it, but the telltale blush at the tips of Ennis' ears and the way he looked around them nervously and tucked his shirt in the back of his jeans gave away that he'd actually done it.

"Ennis?" Jack asked hesitantly, not sure what to say or do in response to this new development. Ennis had never kissed him anywhere that even resembled public before, even a deserted street in the middle of the night, let alone right where his daughters or neighbors could see if they were looking in the right direction. Except for that one glorious reunion kiss, of course, and that had never been repeated, in part because this was only the second time Jack had driven to Riverton to pick up Ennis for a fishing trip.

Ennis wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and nervously tucked his shirt into the back of his jeans, even though he'd just done it. "Well, uh, come an' meet the girls," he muttered. "You might as well stay here, now that you've made the trip. No use wastin' money on a motel." Jack followed him around the truck to where the two children sat on their swings. "Girls, this here's daddy's friend, Jack Twist. Jack, this's Alma Junior, she's seven, and this's Francine. She's five."

"Pleased to meet you, little ladies," Jack said with a large smile, touching the brim of his hat.

"Please to meet you, Mr. Twist," Junior responded. She punched her sister, who repeated the greeting into the dirt. An awkward moment passed before Ennis broke the silence.

"Girls, you want a snack? Do some drawing inside? Drink for you, Jack?" Everyone agreed and tramped up the stairs into the apartment.

Hours later, after Jack had entertained the girls with stories of the rodeo life, embarrassed Ennis with anecdotes from their time herding sheep together, laughed along with Ennis and the girls, and helped Ennis make a rudimentary dinner out of leftovers in the fridge, Jack relaxed on the sofa while Ennis put the girls to bed and checked on his wife.

Alma was sleeping, and had been most of the day, so out of it that she didn't register that Jack was in the apartment, otherwise she might not have been as relaxed about getting well in her own time. Ennis heated canned soup and made sure she had medicine and water before returning to the living room and Jack, saying that he didn't want to get sick himself and would sleep on the sofa like he had the night before. Alma didn't protest, wanting the night over so she could have her sister there who would actually take care of her and the kids rather than Ennis, who seemed so eager to be on his way fishing with that _friend_ of his when by all rights he should be home with his family.

In the living room, Ennis sank into the sofa on the far end from Jack, handing him a beer, opening his own. "Don't got nothing stronger in the house," Ennis admitted after ten minutes, fearing Jack would be disappointed in his hospitality.

"Got time for that later, friend," Jack replied, shifting closer, halving the distance between them. "Shouldn't have it around kids anyway." He settled his free arm along the back of the sofa. His fingers brushed against Ennis' shoulder. Ennis jumped up as if burnt and disappeared into the kitchen. Jack sighed in disappointed resignation and finished his beer in silence. "Shouldn't a expected nothin'," he muttered to himself. "We're in his damn house! His wife's down the hall, his kids."

Ennis returned with new bottles of beer for each of them, this time sitting right up next to Jack, startling him, their thighs pressed together. He made a noise which Jack took to be an apology. Jack shrugged and took a swallow of beer. By midnight they'd finished all the beer in the house, something Alma would yell about when she was better, but Ennis didn't care all that much. He felt pleasantly buzzed and a little reckless and when he leaned over to kiss Jack he felt like he was coming home.

The kiss was passionate and needy and very, very deep, a cool drink after months of drought. They held each other's heads as they were wont to do and caressed each others faces with fingers and more kisses, finally a little bit free to indulge in each other during the dark of the night, though by silent agreement they didn't take it any farther than kissing out of respect for Alma and the girls nearby. Neither noticed seven year old Junior leaving her room for a glass of water, pausing to watch her father kissing his friend for ten full minutes before returning to bed, questions in her head she was too young to understand but too old to ignore.


	13. Chapter 12: October, 1971, pt 2

**Blood is Thicker than Water... Love is Thicker than Time**

**Chapter 12**

.

_October, 1971, Continued_

Alma Junior woke at six and immediately rushed to the living room to see if her daddy and his friend were still there or if they'd left to go fishing already. The friend lay sprawled on the couch, his hat covering his face and his ankles crossed where they hung over the side of the couch. His boots were on the floor. Her daddy slept in the big arm chair across the room, his head leaning forward so that his chest touched his chest as he breathed.

Junior paused, thinking. She was hungry, but her momma was still sick and wouldn't be able to help her. Her daddy was always grumpy in the mornings. Maybe his friend would be nicer when woken up. She crept over to him and touched his shoulder.

"Mr. Twist," she called softly, shaking him. "Mr. Twist?"

He jerked into a sitting position, waking, his hat falling to the floor. He turned to her. "Junior? What's goin' on?" He rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Somethin' wrong?"

"I'm hungry, but I didn't want to wake Daddy," she explained. "He gets grumpy in the mornings," she confided in a whisper.

He smiled and ruffled her hair. "I've known your daddy for a long time, and I've seen him grumpy in the mornings, too. I think you did the right thing to wake me." He reached for his boots, pulling them on. "What do you usually eat for breakfast?"

"Momma makes eggs and toast and bacon, and sometimes pancakes!" He laughed, gave her a searching look. She looked away. "Cereal," she admitted.

"Well, you're in luck, Missy, because I can make you a bowl of cereal. Is your sister up yet?"

Junior shook her head vigorously. "No, she sleeps a lot because of her asthma. That's what Momma says. I think it's 'cause she likes to sleep." She followed him into the kitchen, telling him where the cereal and bowls were, then obediently pointing out the coffee can. He got her settled, then made a pot of coffee, hoping the smell would wake Ennis, as it often did when they camped out. He sat with her at the table while she ate, sipping at the hot bitter liquid.

"Mr. Twist? Can I ask you somethin'?" Junior asked.

"You can call me Jack, if you want, when no one else's around. It'll be our secret, OK?" He winked and gave her one of his bright smiles, and soon she smiled back. "What is it, darlin'?"

"Daddy said once you have a baby boy?"

"He did?" Jack's grin got even wider. "Well, my Bobby's going on five years old. He's a few months younger than Francine. Wasn't sure if Ennis ever mentioned me," he said to himself.

"He never mentions you when Momma's around, 'cause she gets mad, but sometimes when I can't sleep he tells me stories of herdin' sheep with you. Only, you told some a the same stories yesterday, and they were much funnier. I liked yours better."

"Don't never tell your daddy that, you hear? His stories're just as good as mine, but he don't talk nearly as much as me, so you need to listen when he says somethin', 'cause he never wastes a word, not a single word."

"You got that right, Rodeo," Ennis said from the doorway, chuckling, walking over and taking the mug from Jack's hand to drain the remaining coffee in one swallow.

"Hey!"

"You make any more a this?" Ennis asked, ignoring Jack's indignant protest, a small smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. Jack punched Ennis' shoulder, got one in return.

"Yeah," Jack said with an affectionate, long-suffering sigh. "On the counter."

Junior giggled.

"What's so funny?" Ennis demanded, his eyes sparkling and no anger in his voice as he filled Jack's mug and got a second for himself. He handed off the coffee to Jack.

"You are, Daddy!" Junior squealed. "You an' Mr. Twist act like me an' Francie."

Jack laughed. "What do ya think, Del Mar? You an' me, brothers?"

"That'd be some messed up kind a brothers," Ennis muttered. "You from Texas, me from Wyoming."

"More like me from Montana, you from Utah. You a Mormon, Ennis?"

Ennis burst into a full laugh. "I ain't got no three wives," he declared. "One is more'n enough for me."

"Daddy, what's a Mormon?" Junior asked.

"Nothin' you gotta worry about, Sweet Pea," Ennis said. "Where's your sister?"

"She's sleepin'."

Ennis nodded to himself and finished his coffee. The phone on the wall rang. Ennis snatched it up. "H'lo?" He listened for a few seconds, grunted, then hung up. "Junior, your Aunt Mary's coming over to watch you while me'n Jack go fishin'. Said she'd be here in 'bout an hour or two." He looked over at Jack. "You want to go on ahead, make up the camp?"

"What? Again?" Jack protested. "I just put it up and took it down all by myself once already!"

"Looks like you're gonna have to do it again," Ennis said, smiling and completely unrepentant. "I'll make it up to you," he promised, patting Jack's back, his hand lingering a few seconds too long, since he doubted Junior would notice, though she did. "What do you say to a nice steak for dinner?"

Jack laughed, slapping his knee, he was so tickled. "You got a deal," he answered. "Be glad I'm such a easy goin' guy." Ennis chuckled and Junior smiled, confused.

"I thought you was goin' fishin'?" she asked. "Won't you be eatin' fish?"

"Well, darlin', we might not get up there in time to fish today," Ennis explained. "I gotta make sure my buddy has food, don't I?"

"Yeah," she answered softly.

Jack and Ennis smiled at each other, communicating silently as they often did. "I'll get goin', then?" Jack asked. Ennis nodded. Jack nodded back. He stood, put his hat on his head and got down on one knee in front of Junior. "It was mighty nice of you for lettin' me stay here an' takin' care a me, Junior," he said with a smile. "I'll be seein' you."

Junior jumped off her chair and threw her arms around Jack, hugging him goodbye. He returned the hug gratefully, surprised at the obvious affection in her hug. "You make Daddy happy," she whispered in his ear. "Come back soon."

Overwhelmed by the heartfelt request, Jack stumbled to his feet. He nodded one last time at Ennis and fled the apartment.


	14. Chapter 13: Confessions

**Blood is Thicker than Water... Love is Thicker than Time**

**Chapter 13**

.

_October, 1971, Continued_

"Jack? I been thinking."

"Don't hurt yourself," Jack replied instantly, reaching across the small distance between them for the bottle of whiskey.

"Asshole," Ennis muttered. He pulled the bottle back at the last second, taking a healthy swallow. The fire crackled. He passed the bottle. "I been thinking, it's been eight years since we met."

"Yep," Jack replied, swallowing. He passed the bottle back. "We're not kids no more."

"And we didn't see each other for four years."

"True."

Ennis paused, staring into the fire, the whiskey bottle dangling in his hand. "We had 74 nights together up on Brokeback," he said finally, taking a swallow and finishing the bottle. He tossed it aside. "Today makes 75 nights together since you showed up in Riverton in '67, if we count yesterday."

"Huh. I think you might be right," Jack mused, lighting two cigarettes and handing one to Ennis. "Didn't think you counted that kind a thing."

"I told you once that I think on you when we're not together," Ennis protested. "That I wanted more time. Counting the nights makes it more real, somehow. Helps me remember."

"You still think that?" Jack asked. "That you wish we had more time?"

"Yeah, 'course I do," Ennis exclaimed instantly. They smoked in silence for a few minutes. "I wish Alma hadn't gotten sick. We'd have had two more nights."

"Well, we kissed a bit last night."

"It's not the same."

"No, cowboy, it isn't."

Ennis flicked his cigarette butt into the fire. "I'm sorry," he said, so softly Jack almost didn't hear him over the sound of the logs settling.

"Me, too." Jack sighed sadly, knowing Ennis was apologizing for any number of things, including his hesitancy to do more than meet up in the mountains once in a while.

"You still a dreamer, Jack? You got a dream for us like you used to?" Ennis sounded wistful.

"You want to hear it?"

"No, I just want to know you've got it."

"I've got it, Ennis. I keep it locked tight in my heart, where no one can get to it but you."

"Shit, you sound like a girl," Ennis teased, his eyes twinkling in the firelight, and Jack mused that Ennis had been smiling and laughing more in the last two days than he'd done in all the time since their second fishing trip combined.

"Fuck you," Jack replied, no venom in the curse.

"All you got to do is ask, rodeo. That's one thing I'll give you any time, even if I can't give you the rest."

Hours later, Ennis couldn't sleep, despite the vigorous coupling they'd enjoyed. He lay on his back, staring at the roof of the tent, his mind drifting. "I had a dream, once," he said to himself.

"Wha?" Jack mumbled, on the edge of sleep himself.

"I said, I had a dream," Ennis repeated, slightly louder, so Jack could hear. "And not like that preacher, neither."

"Was I in it?" Jack asked, rolling over to face Ennis, though Ennis didn't move and continued staring up. Jack ran his hand over Ennis' bare chest and kissed his shoulder. "Ennis?"

"You _were_ the dream," Ennis whispered. "Might've happened, if you'd just been around when I called." He shut his eyes and covered them with a hand.

Jack, more awake all of a sudden, sat up to look down at him. "What do you mean? 'If I'd been around when you called?' Did you call me? When? I don't think we've ever spoken on the phone before."

"It's nothin'." Ennis muttered, rolling over to his stomach so Jack couldn't see his face anymore.

"No, it's gotta be somethin'," Jack protested. "You wouldn't be so upset, otherwise. Tell me. I won't laugh, I promise."

"I'm not upset!"

"Bullshit! You're avoidin' looking at me. We got over that a long time ago. If it's really nothin', turn over and tell me to my face." Ennis just shook his head. "Fine! Keep your secrets. Not like I care, or nothin'," Jack grumbled, lying down again and facing away from Ennis. "Not like I spend all my time in Texas wishin' I was here with you, you asshole." He punched his pillow.

"I called you the mornin' a my weddin'," Ennis admitted in a rush after ten long minutes of tense silence. "At your folks' place. Your old man said you was already down in Texas, couldn't get ahold a you to pass on a message. I told him I was gettin' married an' that I wanted you to be there, an' for him to tell you if you happened to call, an' he said he would, but I didn't believe him." He paused for breath and rushed on, confessing his secret to the one person who might understand, who might give him solace. His words came quicker and quicker.

"I didn't have your number, so I went to the library, and the print in the damned phone book was so fuckin' small I had to ask the librarian to help me. I felt like a fuckin' idiot. She probably thought I couldn't read. Told her I wanted to make sure my best friend was comin' to my weddin', so she wouldn't suspect why I needed your number so bad. Probably dialed a dozen times before I put in the last number. I was shakin' an' sweatin' an' I was sure everyone on the street knew why I was callin' you, but I did it, an' you weren't there. _You weren't there!_" he finished with a shout.

"I about lost my mind, Jack, I wanted you so bad. If you'd a been there…" He trailed off, embarrassed by his outburst. "I had this dream you'd come for me, tell me not to marry her… That we'd go off somewhere, consequences be damned, but it'd be ok, 'cause we'd be together, an' even if we got killed for it, we'd a been together for whatever time we had." He drew a shaky breath and continued in a calmer voice. "I woulda gone with you that mornin'. I couldn't a left on my own, but if you'd just been there, I coulda done it."

Jack swallowed, his mouth dry and his eyes burning. "You woulda gone with me?" he asked in a small voice, disbelieving the declaration because it was so far different from the Ennis he knew.

Ennis shifted. He pulled Jack onto his back and straddled him, his eyes blazing. He leaned forward on his elbows so that he was hovering over Jack, their faces inches apart. "I woulda left everything behind and gone with you, Jack, if only you'd been there to give me the strength to do it."

They stared into each other's eyes in the dark tent, the moonlight that filtered in the only illumination as the fire was long since burned down. Jack read sincerity and honesty in Ennis' eyes, as well as a deep sadness that rivaled his own. _He might even be sadder than me, _he thought. He didn't notice the tears that escaped his eyes until they slipped down his face to pool in his ears. He tried blinking to clear his eyes, but that just made his vision swim, and more tears fell. He watched as Ennis broke down, a single tear falling to land on Jack's cheek.

With a burst of energy, Jack surged upwards and grabbed Ennis, wrapping him in a tight embrace. He pulled Ennis down on top of him and held him as Ennis cried, huge, gasping sobs the likes of which Jack had never seen before. He did what he could to soothe Ennis, kissing his forehead, rubbing his back, rocking them slightly as they hugged, murmuring nonsense words into his ears. Ennis clung to him desperately, crying into Jack's shoulder.

"I was so mad at you for so long," Ennis managed through his tears. "You said you'd be there til spring and it was only November! You didn't even wait three months for me to get my head out a my ass. I just needed a little time to accept it, is all, and I couldn't have done it with you right there. I needed to miss you, to know what I was givin' up. But you didn't come an' I had to get married. I didn't have a choice! What was I supposed to do, Jack? Tell the whole world I was queer for a guy who wasn't there? I'd a gotten myself killed."

Jack froze as the implication of Ennis' words hit him. _Ennis called me in November, wanting me to rescue him from his marriage. Ennis called me in November, but that prick of a daddy of mine never gave me the message. I coulda had seven more years with Ennis? Really with him? Living with him? He woulda gone with me…_

_He was willing to call himself queer for me?_

"I hate that bastard now more'n ever," Jack exclaimed, letting go of Ennis to pound a fist into his other hand. "I was in Lightin' Flat, Ennis. I didn't leave til March. The asshole didn't tell me you called. He probably did it on purpose. Shit! He's known all along! I'm gonna fuckin' _kill_ him!" Jack snarled. The hatred and venom in his voice startled Ennis out of his depression and he raised his head to look at Jack again.

"You're sayin' he didn't tell you I called to keep us apart?" Ennis asked, his voice jumping an octave higher than normal in his anxiety. "He _knows_ about us?"

"That rat bastard! That motherfuckin' dickhead!" Jack pulled on his jeans and boots and stormed off into the night, his curses getting more and more vulgar as he poured out his rage and grief over all the lost time they could've had. Ennis caught up to him at their trucks, grabbing Jack as he was about to drive back to Lightning Flat that very instant, half-dressed and in the middle of the night.

"Jack! Jack, don't you dare leave me here alone," Ennis shouted, pulling him bodily from the cab. He shoved Jack against a nearby tree and pinned him there. "Don't you go over there in a rage, baby. You'll just get yourself in trouble, and how'n the hell'm I supposed to bail you out a jail for killin' your old man, huh? You think I got that kind a money? Now calm the fuck down and come back over here, ok? We'll figure somethin' out, darlin'. We always do, right? Come on." Jack fought him, still cursing and threatening his father with bodily harm. Finally, when Ennis realized he couldn't stop Jack without hurting him, he grabbed both sides of Jack's face and kissed him hard, hoping the kiss might startle him into a different mood. After a few seconds of struggle, Jack gave in to the kiss and returned it.

"Did you call me 'baby'?" Jack asked breathlessly when they pulled apart. "_And _'darlin'?"

Ennis felt his cheeks heat up and he turned his face away in embarrassment. "Um, yeah, I think so," he answered in a mumble that Jack could barely hear. "I, um, I wasn't thinkin'. Sorry."

"Why're you apologizing?"

"You're not a girl," Ennis explained. "Those're the kinds a things you call girls."

"So? I _like_ it when you call me darlin'. You call me that all the time and I ain't never complained, have I? As far as I can see, there's no harm in it. Maybe I'll like bein' called baby, too. You never know."

"Um, ok." Ennis, his reaction now under control, looked up to find Jack's eyes in the moonlight. "You calmer now? You gonna come back to the tent an' not make any stupid decisions?"

"You mean like rush home half-naked an' out a my mind? Yeah, I'm calmer."

They walked in silence back to the tent, where they both pulled on the rest of their clothes and their coats. Ennis rebuilt the fire and Jack broke out a second bottle of whiskey. He took three huge gulps before Ennis grabbed it from him and took two of his own. They settled down, Ennis sitting against a log, Jack on the ground between his thighs, his back pressed against Ennis' chest.

"My turn to apologize," Jack said solemnly.

"For what?"

"I been mad at you for four years for not leavin' Alma, when I shoulda really been mad at that asshole for gettin' us into this situation in the first place."

"It's not Alma I won't leave," Ennis said tiredly. "It's my girls. Hell, if I could leave her and keep the girls, I'd a done it a long time ago. She's a bitch most a the time, and I don't have no hesitations 'bout sayin' it. We ain't had sex in five years, she always complains about everything, and I'm tired of it. Sometimes I wish I could afford a divorce lawyer, but it's hard enough puttin' food on the table," he muttered.

"What would you do, if you could still see your girls but not be married to her?" Jack asked hesitantly.

"You really don't know?" Ennis demanded gently. "I'd be askin' you to leave your wife, like you said you would years ago as soon as the ink's dry with the judge's signature. You said you'd be able to get some cash. Figure you can get more now, since it's been longer, and your wife's old man'll want you gone even more. We'd get ourselves a little place, like you said. Hell, we both know more about the world now, more about running a ranch. We'd probably do it better than if we went off then." He paused, staring into the fire. "As long as I'm close enough to see my girls, and you can see your boy, if you want, that's all I'd need, Jack. You an' my girls an' my horses."

"What if I could get you a lawyer? One who'd be able to get you visitation with them? You wouldn't be embarrassed to take that kind a thing from me? Lawyers're expensive."

"Seein' you in my house, it made me realize that the only times I actually feel alive is when I'm with you. I'd accept the money if it means I'd be alive all the time and not just a few weeks a year. It'd be you an' me, an' what I got, it'd be yours, too, an' yours'd be mine. I'd even call myself queer if you wanted me to," he whispered.

"Something's changed you, Ennis," Jack said softly.

"You've changed me," Ennis replied. "I been thinkin' on somethin' else, too. Remember I told you 'bout Earl an' Rich? Well, they were together somethin' like thirty years before Earl got killed. The way I see it, maybe we could have thirty years, you know? Maybe we could."

"You wouldn't have to call yourself queer, Ennis. I just want you with me."

"You call yourself queer?" Ennis asked.

"I guess. Best times I ever had've been with you, and you're a man, so I guess that makes me queer. But don't expect me to put on dresses like those queers you hear about in the city!"

"God forbid," Ennis said fervently. "That's one thing we ain't, city queers." He chuckled. He ran his fingers through Jack's hair. They watched the fire for a few moments. "I got one other question, Jack, an' I want you to be honest, 'cause this won't work if we're not honest with each other. You been with other guys?"

Jack drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yeah. A few, down in Texas, before I got back in touch with you." He took another breath, let it out. "But none since we got back together. It was you I was missin', and that's God's truth, Ennis."

"How many?"

"Seven, one night with each a them. And I wouldn't let them fuck me. You're the only one who's done that."

"Savin' yourself for me?" Ennis teased, hugging Jack tighter. "Thank you for tellin' me."

"Like you said, honesty's what we need. Haven't been with Lureen since we got together May of '69. You been with anyone else?"

"Just you and Alma. And she barely counts. I got her pregnant in two months the first time, little over three the second. Barely touched her after that. Then you showed up."

"We gonna do this?"

Ennis looked at the fire again, thinking. "Maybe not right yet, Jack, but yeah, we're gonna do it."

Jack leaned his head back against Ennis' chest and looked back at him, feeling lighter than he could ever remember feeling. Ennis knew his secret and wasn't leaving. Ennis wanted to make a life together. "You mean that?"

"I promise you, Jack. By the time we're thirty, we'll be livin' together. Can you wait that long for me?"

"I love you, Ennis. I'll wait as long as you still want me. I promise you that."

"You think that's what this is between us? Love? You think two men can love each other?"

"Yes to all of it."

"I hope it's enough to get us through."

"It will be," Jack said.

Ennis leaned over to kiss Jack's neck, at that special spot that drove Jack wild. "Love you, too, darlin'," he whispered. "More'n anything."


	15. Chapter 14: Junior's Real Family

**Blood is Thicker than Water ... Love is Thicker than Time**

**Chapter 14**

.

Ennis pulled up to his apartment at three in the afternoon on Sunday. He shut off the engine and looked over at the cooler on the seat next to him, the cooler Jack bought him, the cooler filled with ice to keep the two trout he caught fresh. He smiled, remembering the relaxation of the past few days. With their future together planned, in a general way, and their true feelings expressed in words, he and Jack hadn't felt the need to wring every last moment of pleasure from their week together, and had actually fished for the first time in four years of "fishing trips." They discovered that Jack sucked at it, and, predictably, Ennis excelled, mostly because of his quiet, patient nature.

His smile grew wider remembering their goodbye a few hours ago. Unlike his usual hasty retreats to avoid the pain of watching Jack leave him, Ennis had been especially reluctant to leave Jack this time, and they had stood outside in the sunshine together far longer than they ever had on a Sunday morning.

_Jack pressed Ennis against his truck and kissed him firmly yet gently. The kisses were slow and deep and full of meaning, and Ennis drank them up to store the memories for later. _

"_So I'll see you in January?" Jack asked, moving to kiss along Ennis' jaw. "I miss you already." _

"_Four months, bud," Ennis replied. "It's not that long." _

"_It'll feel longer this time, I think." _

"_You might be right," Ennis murmured. "You goin' to Lightnin' Flat like you usually do?" _

"_For about a week, yeah. Gotta help the old man when I can." _

"_Doesn't sound like he deserves havin' you for a son," Ennis commented, his lips trailing down Jack's neck. "Hmm, you taste so good, Jack." _

"_Could say the same thing about you," Jack countered, sighing at the tenderness in Ennis' touch. They stayed like that for another ten minutes until Jack spoke again. "Ennis, are you mad at me for bein' with other guys?" _

"_Not as mad as I thought I'd be. If it'd been four years ago you told me, well, I'd have socked you one and kicked you to the curb, but now… I guess it don't matter so much anymore. You've only been with me for years now, and that's the important thing." He stopped speaking to kiss Jack again a few times before continuing again. _

"_We both been with our wives when we shoulda been with each other, so I can't say anything against that. And you didn't know if you'd see me again, so you needed some relief. I don't like it, but I understand it, 'specially if you're queer after all. Let's try an' let the past go, darlin'. Let's move forward, ok? I made you a promise this week, and I mean to keep it. Three years from now, we'll be together all the time." _

"_Ennis…" _

_They made love in the field, a gentle coming together that held the desire and potential for a joint future. Ennis kissed Jack's closed eyelids before he moved to gather his clothing. Jack, his chest heaving and sweat pouring off him, just smiled. "I love you," he said for the second time that week. _

"_I know, darlin'," Ennis whispered as he knelt beside Jack and draped Jack's shirt over his chest so he wouldn't get chilled. "I can't say it all that often, but I feel it, too. Hope you know that." _

_Jack opened brilliant blue eyes that rivaled the sky above them. "I'll never doubt it," he told Ennis. "Just try an' tell me when you can." Ennis nodded silently and kissed him. _

"_I'll send you a card about January," Ennis said, rising. Jack struggled to his feet to give Ennis one last passionate kiss. _

Remembering that last kiss, Ennis sighed. He touched his lips, as if a lingering sensation still remained there. He got out of the truck, gathered his things and the cooler, and squared his shoulders before entering his apartment. Alma would be home with the girls, and it wouldn't do for him to be sighing like a lovesick schoolgirl.

"Daddy!" Junior screamed happily, running to hug him as soon as he walked in the front door. He set the cooler on the kitchen table and gathered her in his arms.

"Hey there, little darlin', looks like you missed me," he said with a smile.

"I did, Daddy. I made you some pictures! Come see them." She tugged on his hand to drag him in the direction of her room.

Alma, distracted from folding the laundry by the noise, came into the room. She frowned, seeing Ennis' dirty clothes and how Junior clung to him, the dirt transferring to Junior's dress. Francine followed her and ran over to her father, demanding a hug.

"What's this?" she asked in a clipped tone, tapping the cooler.

"It's a cooler," Ennis answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Girls, you wanna see the presents I brought you?"

"Yes!" they shrieked.

Ennis grinned in a way Alma had rarely seen and opened the cooler, pulling out a large trout. "I got two of 'em," he explained, holding it up. "One for each a you."

"Yay!" the girls shouted, jumping up and down in excitement.

"You actually fished," Alma whispered, not quite believing it, accepting the trout from him. She examined it carefully, noting that it wasn't professionally gutted like she'd see at the grocery store. "This isn't our cooler," she muttered, louder, needing to find fault with something. "We can't afford this."

"Ah, no. Jack an' me switched, 'cause he only caught a small one," Ennis explained, though he didn't tell her it took all of Jack's concentration for an entire afternoon and the promise of a blow job if he caught a fish successfully. "I'll give it back to him next time we get together," Ennis continued.

"Well, it'll be good to have fish for a change, won't it, girls?" Alma asked. They agreed, and Alma moved to start preparing the fish for dinner.

"Daddy, you've gotta come see my pictures," Junior whined.

"All right, darlin', I'm comin'," Ennis said. He followed her to her room and settled on the floor next to her while she pulled a pile of paper out of one of her books.

"This is you an' Mr. Twist," Junior said, giving him her seven year old's version of a picture of two men fishing by a stream. "This is you an' Mr. Twist ridin' the horses. This is me an' Francie an' you an' Mr. Twist," she continued, giving him a third picture. The Ennis and Jack figures were holding hands. "And I made a picture for Mr. Twist, too, Daddy. Can you give it to him next time you go fishin', if he doesn't come here?"

"Uh, yeah, darlin', I can make sure he gets it," Ennis said in a tight voice, his eyes focused on the last picture. The two men were standing in front of a house, holding hands, with a pair of horses, the two girls, and a smaller male figure that Junior had labeled 'Bobby.'

"I was gonna put a dog in that picture, but I wasn't sure if Mr. Twist liked dogs."

"We had a couple a heelers when we herded sheep," Ennis said, barely blinking as he stared at the picture and the clasped hands of the men. "He carried the puppy in his coat at the beginnin' a the summer. He likes dogs."

"OK, I'll put one in," Junior said, taking the picture and grabbing her crayons. "What color's a heeler, Daddy?"

"Grey and brown." He watched in silence as she added a dog to the picture. "Uh, where's your momma in the pictures?" Ennis finally asked. He accepted the picture and put it at the bottom of the pile.

Junior looked away. "Promise you won't get mad?" she asked.

"I promise," Ennis said solemnly.

"Momma don't like Mr. Twist, so I didn't want her in the pictures. I'd have to make her frowny, an' that woulda ruined it. But you an' Mr. Twist smiled a lot the other day, and me an' Francie was laughin' a lot, so I made us all smilin'."

"You added his boy, Bobby," Ennis commented.

"Well, it wouldn't be a real family if Mr. Twist didn't have his baby with him," Junior told him matter-of-factly.

"A real family," Ennis echoed, a vague, misty dream forming behind his eyes. "A real family," he repeated.


End file.
